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So that’s what a guy’s version of Pinterest looks like

Really? I’d barely have known.

Fashion, funnies, pretty women. I didn’t bother checking off the ‘Food’ category which is why I presume, there aren’t any pretentious desserts, close-ups of chocolate rings or fancy-shmancy cupcakes around.

Men don’t see the world that much differently.

Dudepins ‘Online Pin board for Men’ says “Man up. Sign up. Pin up.” on its landing page. The ‘Pin it’ button is called a ‘Pin Up’ button and the instruction exhorts you to,

“Dude, drag this button to your toolbar!”

😀 That’s so #TWHS I don’t mind that it’s an indistinguishable knock-off of Pinterest.

Quoted In Sunday Mid-Day Story – ‘Why Men Won’t Let Women Speak’

Yesterday’s Sunday Mid-Day (20 November 2011) carried a story titled ‘Why Men Won’t Let Women Speak‘ by Soumya Rajaram. It was a 2-page feature on the phenomenon of women being unfairly (and harshly) targetted online for verbal assaults. The Twitter tag #Mencallmethings was referenced as was #LadiesWeWantAnswers issue (which I’d blogged about here).

I was quoted and the other recognizable names in the story were Kiran Manral, Harini Calamur, Janaki Ghatpande and The Mad Momma.

Here’s an excerpt of what I said,

“Pandyan finds that it’s the issues she discusses, often those that have no easy answers, that attract offensive responses. “There are rabid ones that blame women’s liberation, working women and women in general for the downfall of society, the breakdown of marriage and even the increase in rapes. Expressing such sentiments in the real world would provoke severe reactions. Online, they are just shrugged off as ‘creepy characters on the Internet’,” she says.”

Read the full article on the Mid-Day site. Here’s the epaper clipping:

Usually my media mentions go on The Idea-smithy. But the bulk of my experiences that were referred to in this story, happen right here at XX Factor. I’d really like to hear what you, my dear readers (friends, commiserators, guest-bloggers, detractors, trolls) think.

Misogyny Trending On Twitter With #LadiesWeWantAnswers

Image representing Twitter as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

I was looking up the #mencallmethings hashtag on Twitter, when I noticed #LadiesWeWantAnswers trending in India. A search of both tags revealed a near-stagnant stream on #mencallmethings while my Twitter stream was throttled by the tweets on #LadiesWeWantAnswers. Here’s a random sample of some of the tweets on today’s Twitter trend:

@Mr_2Smooove: #LadiesWeWantAnswers why u tell us to come over & yo period on??? You serve no purpose for the night lol

@iRICKYMINAJ: Do you like it in the ass? #LadiesWeWantAnswers

@RAWjasekaram: jealous u can’t pee standing up? #LadiesWeWantAnswers

@cockyseaman: #LadiesWeWantAnswers why you look so fat in them jeans?

@BadaBrother: #LadiesWeWantAnswers i think we should offer you money.

I don’t think the notion of female harassment online could have been proven better. What is it with the internet that brings scum crawling out of the woodwork? If Alanis Morisette had happened a decade-and-half later, she could probably have penned ‘Ironic in under a minute, based on these two tweet-streams.

Related articles

What To Do When A Woman Says, “Do What You Want!”

The Mona Lisa (or La Joconde, La Gioconda).

Image via Wikipedia

I’m following an extremely entertaining conversation on Twitter. It all started with,

@dharmeshG: When a girl says “Do what you want.”, what should you do?

We all know what’s coming, don’t we? For your entertainment value, here are some of the responses that followed that tweet. First, the funny guys who show up at any slightly debatable conversation (and how could they resist THIS one?)

@cleanragamuffin Dude, do anything BUT tweet.

@PaglaShaitan: Word RT @Batmanush: Drink beer.

Then came some advice, albeit couched in a dig.

@tailing2ideas: man, that is a warning. back off from whatever you were doin 😛

@SupraMario:It means you’re fucked no matter what you do now, so you might as well go ahead and do what you want.

@chuck_gopal: If she is in some way responsible for your salary, then acquiesce to her wishes.

@sahilk: Do it and then pay for it later.

@slackerninja: Run for your life.

@bluebustees: Be very careful about what u say or do next. Its a trick

And the general consensus was,

@Mr_Anthrope: You don’t do what you want. And you do it with the broadest smile you can muster.

@oneblackcoffee: Do what she wants you to do.

@Raghu3885: Say “i would do what you want me to do”

@ideasmithy: Don’t do exactly that!!

This joke never gets old. Unless of course it was a genuine question. In which case, what, men are STILL having to ask  that??!

Long Distance Relationships

Let’s be honest. Given a choice, I would never pick a long distance relationship. I mean, what’s the point? Like DeePad says in Love Aaj Kal,

Kya fayda? Relationship ke jo achche things hai woh nahin.

(What’s the point? The benefits of a relationship aren’t present.)

And yet, I guess long distance relationships do happen. No one gets into one for the sheer joy of it. It’s practical (like the movie says) and we live in a world of super-pragmatism.

Anurag Kashyap makes an interesting observation (in his commentary of Dev D – quoted in context only, not words).

In that time, people used to write letters to and wait for months to hear from each other. In this day and age, they talk every day, they chat and email. They are a part of each other’s lives. They are emotionally connected. So the frustration is just physical.

Interesting point that. It isn’t just the sexual deprivation while being completely fulfilled on all the other fronts. There is that loss of a tangibleness in the relationship. For a hardcore sentimentalist like me, I wonder where’s the romance in memories of emails and phone conversations?

There is of course that sense of incompleteness from not really know what the other person is looking like at the point of time. Is he smiling, does she incline her head to one side when I say her name? Even more, in detail, I can explain the delicious aroma of the samosas frying next door but can he really grasp the entirety of what I’m saying? Does,

I’d love to be sharing them with a hot cup of tea with you on a day like this?

..even begin to cut it? Truly, a look is worth a thousand words and more. There is so much that words can’t say, after all, that my eyes can.

Which brings me to think about the last time I had a long-distance relationship. I think the biggest problem with it was that you may still be able to sustain a relationship long distance. But to build a relationship long distance…that just seems impossible to me now.

I think what also happens is that one tends to overcompensate for the lack of physical proximity with an extra serving of emotional intimacy. For what else is our compulsive social networking, our minute-to-minute status updates? We miss the physical company of other people and probably we are all such a lonely generation that we wander into the excess of forced emotional closeness.

To come back to the long distance relationship, I must admit that there is also something vaguely appealing about it, in equal measure. There is the convenience and practicality masquerading as ‘respect for the other person’s choices’.

There is the supposed trust and comfort levels that we associate with being able to have a relationship with two physical addresses. Perhaps it is true that some measure of trust does exist but in today’s day of disposable relationships and where marriage itself is an ambiguous term, I think it is largely about shutting your eyes to what you don’t want to face. Somehow a relationship whose manifestations are no more than an email inbox and a mobile phone just seem easier to shut away or even ignore. (I rather expect this statement will cause some uproar so I’ll clarify that as everything else on this blog, it’s just my point of view). What can be more attractive to a generation of people hungover on choices and control?

There is a certain romanticization too, of the other person, of the special bond etc. But when it comes down to it, people are just people, it is our individual experiences with them that make them special to us. And there is that undefinable something that draws us to a particular person and not another. I’m just saying that we’re ignoring that altogether in a long-distance relationship.

It’s like perfume. There’s no point trying to describe it, you  just have to get close and smell it to know what it’s like.

Versions of this article are also posted at Yahoo! Real Beauty and Love Beckons.

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