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Goddess

Image by xwelhamite via Flickr

From the idea-archives. Seven years and the world still has still me up on a pedestal. This isn’t what womanpower is about. No, I’m not Durga, I’m not Kali (even when I’m angry), I’m not Lakshmi, I’m not Saraswati (I’m just smart), I’m not Shakti. I’m just me.

“I drag reluctant feet through a day that seems too long
I trudge through the slime of bad moods and depression to the little islands of intelligence and coherent thought
I fidget uncomfortably in the chair and remember too late that I’m wearing white
I dodge nausea, hot flashes and giddiness with the armour of a painted face and a perfect coiffure
And I suppress the impulse to show the jeering crowd in the truck just what I think of their admiration.

I am bewildered by the sudden surge of joy
I surrender to a wave of hysterical laughter
Then I cover it up with a sarcastic remark
And frown to pull back the sheet of dignity over my exposed lunacy
After all, womanhood is in celebration this week.

I listen with a compassion I know I don’t normally feel….or allow myself to.
I ignore the nagging voice of “I’m tired” and clamp down on the “I hate the world”
I throw out the dinner and then sneak back at 2 a.m. for a bar of chocolate and a banana
And as I lie down, I feel a thousand flame-tipped arrows pricking my skin
Outside my window, the drums are beating out an ode to the glory of womanhood

I close my eyes and sigh
Hello to my monthly visitor
Damn the pedestals…
If this is what being a goddess is, the world can keep its glory.”

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