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Quoted In Sunday Mid-Day Story – ‘Why Men Won’t Let Women Speak’

Yesterday’s Sunday Mid-Day (20 November 2011) carried a story titled ‘Why Men Won’t Let Women Speak‘ by Soumya Rajaram. It was a 2-page feature on the phenomenon of women being unfairly (and harshly) targetted online for verbal assaults. The Twitter tag #Mencallmethings was referenced as was #LadiesWeWantAnswers issue (which I’d blogged about here).

I was quoted and the other recognizable names in the story were Kiran Manral, Harini Calamur, Janaki Ghatpande and The Mad Momma.

Here’s an excerpt of what I said,

“Pandyan finds that it’s the issues she discusses, often those that have no easy answers, that attract offensive responses. “There are rabid ones that blame women’s liberation, working women and women in general for the downfall of society, the breakdown of marriage and even the increase in rapes. Expressing such sentiments in the real world would provoke severe reactions. Online, they are just shrugged off as ‘creepy characters on the Internet’,” she says.”

Read the full article on the Mid-Day site. Here’s the epaper clipping:

Usually my media mentions go on The Idea-smithy. But the bulk of my experiences that were referred to in this story, happen right here at XX Factor. I’d really like to hear what you, my dear readers (friends, commiserators, guest-bloggers, detractors, trolls) think.

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Misogyny Trending On Twitter With #LadiesWeWantAnswers

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I was looking up the #mencallmethings hashtag on Twitter, when I noticed #LadiesWeWantAnswers trending in India. A search of both tags revealed a near-stagnant stream on #mencallmethings while my Twitter stream was throttled by the tweets on #LadiesWeWantAnswers. Here’s a random sample of some of the tweets on today’s Twitter trend:

@Mr_2Smooove: #LadiesWeWantAnswers why u tell us to come over & yo period on??? You serve no purpose for the night lol

@iRICKYMINAJ: Do you like it in the ass? #LadiesWeWantAnswers

@RAWjasekaram: jealous u can’t pee standing up? #LadiesWeWantAnswers

@cockyseaman: #LadiesWeWantAnswers why you look so fat in them jeans?

@BadaBrother: #LadiesWeWantAnswers i think we should offer you money.

I don’t think the notion of female harassment online could have been proven better. What is it with the internet that brings scum crawling out of the woodwork? If Alanis Morisette had happened a decade-and-half later, she could probably have penned ‘Ironic in under a minute, based on these two tweet-streams.

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What To Do When A Woman Says, “Do What You Want!”

The Mona Lisa (or La Joconde, La Gioconda).

Image via Wikipedia

I’m following an extremely entertaining conversation on Twitter. It all started with,

@dharmeshG: When a girl says “Do what you want.”, what should you do?

We all know what’s coming, don’t we? For your entertainment value, here are some of the responses that followed that tweet. First, the funny guys who show up at any slightly debatable conversation (and how could they resist THIS one?)

@cleanragamuffin Dude, do anything BUT tweet.

@PaglaShaitan: Word RT @Batmanush: Drink beer.

Then came some advice, albeit couched in a dig.

@tailing2ideas: man, that is a warning. back off from whatever you were doin 😛

@SupraMario:It means you’re fucked no matter what you do now, so you might as well go ahead and do what you want.

@chuck_gopal: If she is in some way responsible for your salary, then acquiesce to her wishes.

@sahilk: Do it and then pay for it later.

@slackerninja: Run for your life.

@bluebustees: Be very careful about what u say or do next. Its a trick

And the general consensus was,

@Mr_Anthrope: You don’t do what you want. And you do it with the broadest smile you can muster.

@oneblackcoffee: Do what she wants you to do.

@Raghu3885: Say “i would do what you want me to do”

@ideasmithy: Don’t do exactly that!!

This joke never gets old. Unless of course it was a genuine question. In which case, what, men are STILL having to ask  that??!

Flirting on Social Media

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This post was inspired by a comment on my previous post. Apparently these days social media is a great way of meeting women (see slide number 25 in this ppt) .

So since I am out of touch with dating – I went ahead and opened up a Twitter account. Here’s where you can follow me.

And of course, I have a Facebook account too (who doesn’t?) so I got a little active there too.

So here’s the big discovery – it’s damn difficult to build a following on Twitter if you have an anonymous account. Nobody wants to follow me. But interestingly, a couple of women have been flirting with me – two have actually admitted that they believe in polyamory. Yes. There is justice in this world. One actually DM’ed me her email id and wanted to know my name – and even came on Gtalk. By the way, if you’re interested to connect with me on gtalk my id is marriedsingleagain 😉

On Facebook, there have been a few queries about my ‘relationship status’. And I guess it’s to do something with perceptual set. You know, the feeling when you buy a car and suddenly start to notice lots of cars of the same brand on the roads? Suddenly a lot of divorced/separated women have started noticing me. They pop up on FB chat or message me their number. Some of them are damn good looking – and it confuses me. Should I read anything more than sympathy in those messages? For example see these messages I get on Twitter.. why do women have to be so infuriatingly complex 😛

I was talking recently to a female friend who got divorced some time ago and she shared that the number of people who hit on her after knowing she got divorced is like almost 90% of the men she meets, and that men somehow think “a divorced women probably wants sex all the time cause she’s not getting it”

Some people suggested I try out a dating app called Zoosk on FB, and a dating website called BeNaughty – but they seem to be money making rackets – specially when a female in skimpy clothes (in the DP, no not that DP you dirty mind!) suddenly wants to chat with you as soon as you open an account – that’s fishy! And of course they want you to pay, for accessing messages sent to you :O Hello, this is the internet, peepullz !  So stay away from those crappy sites

So I’ve decided that social media is not really going to get me a date… and I am not going to make a pass on any woman using Facebook and Twitter… maybe a little flirting, being a little naughty online… but a relationship? Nah… Not until my divorce comes through and I resolve myself psychologically…

Yes, I do think I am not fit mentally to get into a relationship anytime soon. But flirting should be ok, right? 😉

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