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What Women Want

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Testosterone Flicks

(An altered-opinion sequel to Testosterone Kicks)

Dus bahane karke le gaye dil…

Bahana no.1: Sanjay Dutt
Bahana no.2: Abhishek Bachchan
Bahana no.3: Zayed Khan
Bahana no.4: Abhishek Bachchan
Bahana no.5: Pankaj Kapoor….okay, Pankaj Kapoor’s acting
Bahana no.6: Abhishek Bachchan
Bahana no.7: Overpainted heroines mouthing meaningless dialogues (the urge to strangle them goes sooooo well with the dhamaka-kick of the movie!)
Bahana no.8: Abhishek Bachchan
Bahana no.9: Slick visuals
Bahana no.10: Abhishek Bachchan

Okay, okay, perhaps that’s an exaggeration. Abhishek Bachchan is good for 3 bahanas not 5 perhaps. The real scene-stealer was Sanjay Dutt. Long after Rocky and drugs and divorce and affairs and TADA and Rhea Pillai and divorce and Munnabhai MBBS, the show goes on. The man carries the movie well on his broad shoulders.

Dus is Dhoom without the bikes. Full of quick chases and guns and unbelievable leaps through space and one-liners (“Bada aaya mere do, aapke do sir..”), the movie screams machismo all through. Testosterone is the fuel that runs this one again. Ah…there we are back on one of my favorite words and the only reason a film review is on XXFactor and not Alternate Idea.

I loved the movie. I loved the ‘item number’ by the heroes at the start, I loved all the shots showing off Zayed’s toned abs and Abhishek’s smooth moves, I loved the thrill, I loved it all. I probably won’t remember the plot in a week’s time if you ask me but I’ll still say I love the movie.

Indian cinema has come of age. Perhaps somebody thought they were catering to the male audience with a movie of this sort but I differ. Dus is a drool-fest for any woman, from the first take. It is good looking men dancing and prancing and jumping and fighting and putting up a show. Oh yes, there is Shilpa Shetty skulking around nursing a Lara Croft hangover (we’ll pass on the eye-shadow and high heels here…) and a banshee yelling “Stop, Dev” somewhere around and I believe a former beauty queen drifted in and out of a scene but that is as much as the female component goes. None of the women make any point in the film. I guess they are not supposed to. This movie is unabashedly a treat to the female senses.


Of course I’m gloating. And drooling. I am, after all, the informed, liberated woman who asks for what she wants. And apparently the entertainment industry is more than willing to provide it. The boys are here to dance. And I’m watching.

Testosterone kicks

Saw ‘Dhoom’ this week. Simple testosterone-driven plotline: Thief makes a loot, cop chases him, thief gets away, cop gets smarter, thief gets faster, some dishoom-dishoom and all’s well that ends well.

I loved every minute of the movie….lived through every scene with each character. I wanted to be the ultimate ‘one’, own the flashiest gizmos, show off the best bod, deliver the slickest lines and have the smoothest moves. Is this what it feels like to be a man?
How simple-mindedly wonderful, how one-trackedly perfect…

Friend of mine says “Being a man is a pretty over-rated experience”. Ah sure…that’s what the rich say about money, the high-fliers about success and the celebrities about glamour. For the rest of us not in that league…we’ll always be spectators watching, wondering and envying.

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