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Murphy's law of 'Fancy bumping into you!'

Sakshi says that,

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

The XXFactor corollary to that says,

The probability of meeting someone you don’t want to meet increases when you are with:

  1. the person you want to show your best self to (a.k.a. Murphy’s law of ‘know her by her friends’)
  2. the person you are trying to impress (hence we rule out sarcasm, rudeness and flippancy as defense mechanisms)
  3. the person you are trying to hide their existance from

The first can be explained away if you have a vivid imagination (“He sat next to me in chem lab and copied my notes!”) and the second is generally not as bad as one imagines since this happens to everyone some time or presumably can be used as a sympathy-earner. The last one is deadly. Let’s look at some such situations:

  • Running into an ex- when with the current.
  • Spotting ex- no.2 when on a rebound-reconcillation date with ex- no.1 (GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH…..never give a man the chance to say “I told you so!”)
  • Bumping into friendly neighborhood kiranewalle uncle, nosy aunty…or, *gasp* the pater and mater while with the new ‘prospect’. What’s so terrible about that, I ask my so-called modern woman self? Terrible is that they think he’s Guy C who you said helped you get over Guy D but your date actually answers to ‘Guy F’.
  • Meeting ex-no.1 and ex-no.2 together…..ummm…that means they are together, not you and one of them. You don’t want to see either one of them again and what have we here…both at once!!! Double deals are never good.

(Click on thumbnail to see full comic on a new page)

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Murphy’s law of ‘Fancy bumping into you!’

Sakshi says that,

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

The XXFactor corollary to that says,

The probability of meeting someone you don’t want to meet increases when you are with:

  1. the person you want to show your best self to (a.k.a. Murphy’s law of ‘know her by her friends’)
  2. the person you are trying to impress (hence we rule out sarcasm, rudeness and flippancy as defense mechanisms)
  3. the person you are trying to hide their existance from

The first can be explained away if you have a vivid imagination (“He sat next to me in chem lab and copied my notes!”) and the second is generally not as bad as one imagines since this happens to everyone some time or presumably can be used as a sympathy-earner. The last one is deadly. Let’s look at some such situations:

  • Running into an ex- when with the current.
  • Spotting ex- no.2 when on a rebound-reconcillation date with ex- no.1 (GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH…..never give a man the chance to say “I told you so!”)
  • Bumping into friendly neighborhood kiranewalle uncle, nosy aunty…or, *gasp* the pater and mater while with the new ‘prospect’. What’s so terrible about that, I ask my so-called modern woman self? Terrible is that they think he’s Guy C who you said helped you get over Guy D but your date actually answers to ‘Guy F’.
  • Meeting ex-no.1 and ex-no.2 together…..ummm…that means they are together, not you and one of them. You don’t want to see either one of them again and what have we here…both at once!!! Double deals are never good.

(Click on thumbnail to see full comic on a new page)

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Fairytale

The reason men shouldn’t be permitted to think…

(Click to see full comic on a new page)

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Welcome to the Metrosexual era

So we are a city of metrosexual men? Hmm. I guess I should revise my preferences. Let it never be said that I’m not fair. So welcome, men, to the joys of beautification! That said, let me extend the olive branch to my insofar suffering male counterparts and attempt to smoothen the process for you. After all, I have been a woman all my life, tomboyishness and gender stereotype dilemmas notwithstanding…I still do have a leeetle more experience than you in this department.

As a gesture of welcome, I present a handy manual on all things that you’ll have a chance to learn now that you’re on beauty-territory:

Tired of being Beauty’s Beast?

Do you wish women would swoon over your smooth, shaven cheeks? Your dapper dressing? Your smart shoes? Your head-spinning cologne?

DO YOU WANT TO BE A METROSEXUAL MAN???!

Congratulations! Now that you’ve made up your mind, whipped out your wallet for the potions and creams, what’s next? The clothes don’t make a man…alone. We are here to help you be the complete Metrosexual Man!

Presenting a path-breaking programme that ensures that you are truly beautiful in every way….

1. Accounting – Time and for money: How to fit a before-date makeover into one free hour and a limited budget. Extras include time-stretching ploys, excuses, haggling and screaming over the din.

2. Survival kitting – How to assemble your own personal tool-kit for makeovers, quick-fixes, first-aids, touch-ups.

(Click on thumbnail to see full comic on a new page)

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3. Discomfort management – A guide to living and loving starch, pins, elastic and pretty but comfort-challenged fabrics. A special booklet on Spandex for aspiring superheroes!

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4. Dealing with support staff: Essential beginner’s guide to bargaining, quality assessment, communicating body fit requirements to tailors and the value of an amicable relationship with your hairdresser.

5. Body language modification: A practical course on how to walk, stand, talk and perform all other basic human movements with maximum grace and minimum discomfort.

Say bye-bye to the Beast! Hello, Mr.Beautiful!

Interested applicants may leave a message here and we’ll get back to you.

Note to women friends: Any volunteers wanting to help me get this in order? No laughing allowed….till after we collect the fees!

The laws of men in relationships*

* With due apologies to Newton Sirjee who we all agree, was a very smart man, indeed.

First Law:

Every man continues in his current non-single relationship state (dating, just good friends, chasing, no-strings-attached, in love, married) unless acted upon by a force internal (dramatic negative behaviour by woman like nagging, extreme indifference etc) or external (subtle positive behaviour by other women like smiling, cleavage-flashing, PDA etc).

(Click on thumnail to see full comic on a seperate page)

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Men are inertiatic.

Second Law:

The rate of change of a man’s interest in a woman is directly proportional to the force (external or internal: see First Law) and takes place in the direction of the force.

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Third Law:

To every female action towards changing the First Law and/or implementing the Second Law, there is always an opposite reaction, at least verbally. Equal or not depends on the stubborness of the man concerned and could determine which way the relationship swings from there.

Feminine Logic

In some roundabout way, we manage to make sense. Umm well, we just like to gather in the facts first. Uh huh.

(Click to see full comic on a new page)

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Blue and Not Sweet

Meeing man who has been sternly warned not to exhibit any of the annoying behaviour that have so long been his joy and pride. We won’t go into the details of what entails ‘annoying’ here, it’s fairly wearing out. But said man has sheer genius talent in this and brings forth new annoying habits.

Blue squarish thing with buttons is flashed in my face at every opportunity. Let’s count the times it’s whipped out…oh, not, it’s strategically placed on the table in full view. Presumably since I don’t take adequate notice of it, it is snatched up every now and then to be tinkered with. Let’s count:

1. During discussion on when the said restaurant chain had been set up. Google search yields nothing. Waiter called upon to ratify my mostly accurate guess.

2. After picking up only one word from my sentence..’chess’. I am challenged to win a game against said blue-squarish thing. When I decline, I am treated to a long, involved description of said owner’s weekend itenarary spent losing to the said object.

3. On being questioned whether jhula-type chair on which man is sitting can break under his weight, I muse…dunno, the torsion… I am greeted by loud hooting and a proclamation that “THERE’S NOTHING CALLED TORSION. I can’t remember its exact definition just then so of course blue squarish thing is summoned to help again. Tch, tch pore thang he, it proves me right. But of course. Why do men invent toys that make them look like even bigger fools than before?

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(Click to enlarge on a new page)

Needle in the haystack

So the mommies starts to murmer on marriage again. Thus far I’ve managed to avoid the issue for awhile after having survived a torrent of eligible bachelors (EB) awhile back. Steadied it to a light drizzle and then just a few drips (hmph, all men are!). But now, the Magic Mummy radar senses a break in daughter’s otherwise jam-packed schedule and jumps in promptly to fill it up with more EBs.

(Click to see full comic on a new page)
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I sigh and lay down my wearied defenses and set out to interview prospects again. All the while ruminating on a thought that struck me in the shower last week (don’t all brilliant ideas come to you then? I also get some when I’m brushing my teeth in the morning).

We all know that an average girl child’s brain is injected with the marriage virus very early on in life and everything else we do in life from our choice of career, our grades, our dressing, personality, friends, social calendar are all supposed to be in preparation of the big M word. Why do men get married? Let’s see:

  1. Because they are in love (HAHAHAHA…alright I’ll shut my cynical self up a bit)
  2. Because they seek companionship (I don’t really believe it but I’m bored with the ‘man-hater’ title)
  3. Because they want free and regular sex (dare deny that one, anyone?)
  4. Because they want a housemaid/cook/nurse-for-ageing-parents (phooey to the US-returned types)
  5. Because their family wants them to get married (Yes, mama!)
  6. Because their ex- broke up with them and they want to show her up (with all due apologies to the women that are being now made miserable by my ex-es)
  7. Because….errr…umm….

Now let’s look at them. 1 and 2 are really rare and when those exist, the man has quickly turned around and married her in his early 20s itself. 3 and 4 are most common of all and if you don’t believe me, ask ANY woman who is being subjected to the marriage market….we’ve all met a few specimens. 5 and 6 get to be more and more hard to avoid as the years pass…both make their life’s major decisions based on someone else’s whims and words.

Where does that leave us then? With men who are certainly not interested in marriage and only feed us the lines hoping to impress us and get a little fun in the process. Or the No.s 3, 4, 5 and 6 and they’re hardly prime cuts as far as marriage prospects go, never mind their degrees and dollars.

(Click to see full comic on a new page)

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Oh and there’s always the specimen that doesn’t even know why he’s getting married. But then again, “I don’t know” is an answer I hear frequently. Oh men of intelligence and higher understanding, where art thou? *Sigh* And at the end of it, all I’ll have is a shiny needle.

Compromises

The rules of propriety must be observed.

(Click to enlarge)

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Environment Unfriendly

Only because the question has been posed…

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(Click to see full comic strip)

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