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XXFactored Mar2011: Sex, Self-Image And Complicated Committment

Time for another XXFactored post already! So much has been happening this woman’s own life that I’m afraid I’ve been lagging behind in the spectator stakes. Maybe what I’m reading mirrors what I’ve been thinking. Here’s what was up with March 2011:

  • A basket of goodies from the queen of confessions who lists the different kinds of sex (via TheCompulsiveConfessor)
  • Daughterly guilt and who’s fighting it – Google, Infosys! (via EconomicTimes)
  • A personal account of bust enhancement surgery and its aftermath. Forget sniggering, this really makes me want to say “No judgement” (via DailyMail)
  • Is this the truth behind all those annoying ‘happily ever after’ couples? Meet a woman who wants Facebook to know that she’s married and ‘It’s complicated’! (via YourTango)
  • Do some of the phrases that gain popularity, make you cringe? Dating terminology that we need to ditch (via YourTango)
  • Couples fight more than 300 times a year! I don’t know about you but that certainly makes me feel better! (via Glamour)
  • How ironic that we talk about the emotional/moral/social aspects of virginity and totally neglect the physical? 7 things you didn’t know about the hymen (via YourTango)
  • Lalita Iyer of HT Cafe’s Chickwit column presents her take on a chauvinistic comedian’s act (via Chickwit)
  • And finally a bit of a self-plug (I think I’ve earned it!): Do check out some of my top-of-the-line posts at Yahoo! Real Beauty. A few of them are sparking off a storm in the teacup there!
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The Myth Of Virginity

The thing that bothers me is that people confuse virginity with purity and use the first to prove the second. Please, people, let’s get this straight: Virginity is physical, purity is spiritual.

Really now, aren’t we all adult enough (and that being in terms of having adequate knowledge of human anatomy and scientific breakthroughs as well as the maturity to see the full matter)? Re-virgination sounds like a ghastly concept to me, not just because of the physical implications of being ‘stitched up’ but also for what an ironical metaphor it is for reality. Patching up a tear to make it as good as new. Note the ‘as good as’. What a farce and to what avail? Let’s not even get into the reality of a hymen getting torn in sports and other strenuous physical activity.

The presence of an intact hymen doesn’t really prove anything, except the fact that the lady’s going to be shedding a bit of blood the next time she performs the act. It doesn’t tell you that she’s been faithful to the man (before he even knew her or not), it doesn’t say that she’s ladylike or has ‘modest values’. Hell, even if you knew for fact that she’d never done it, it doesn’t tell you a damn thing about her character.

I re-iterate:

Virginity has got absolutely nothing to do with purity.

Purity….spend a lifetime with a person discovering that…it’s the kind of whiteness that can’ t be sullied by other people’s deeds and misdeeds. It lies deep inside a person’s own actions. It’s also called character and it takes a helluva lot more than a bleeding tissue to find it.

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A version is also posted on Yahoo! Real Beauty.

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