Monthly Archives: April 2018

The Menstrual Cup As A Gauge For Wellbeing

The menstrual cup adventures and misadventures continue. It was to be expected. The menstrual system is a complex ones full of intricate levers and pulleys and hormones and what-not. All things considered, it really is an engineering marvel that works pretty much like clockwork for at least 30 years, adapts for pregnancy and sex life. And most of all, given all the different things that go through it, it is a self-cleaning system (a feat I imagine is virtually impossible in the world of machines). So yes, I appreciate my vagina and all things attached to it. The menstrual cup journey has certainly given me a newfound respect for this system that my body comes equipped with.

This has been my menstrual cup timeline so far:

  • July 2015: Started with a firm, medium sized, stemmed SilkyCup. It took me awhile to learn insertion and get comfortable with the cup. But leaks were still happening.
  • June 2016: Switched to a soft, medium sized, non-stemmed SheCup. I thought the leaks may be happening because the previous cup wasn’t unfurling properly. This cup was easier to put in. But it turned inside me a couple of times and once, fell into the toilet bowl when I was trying to get it out. It also leaked.
  • March 2017: Moved to large sized, stemmed WOW Freedom and ALX Care. WOW Freedom is a soft cup while ALX Care is a firm cup. I wanted to see if sizing up would prevent the leaks and after the turnover (turncoat?) cup, I felt safer having a stem. I’ve been using these alternately and have had good experiences with both. No more leaks, no difficulty putting in or removing and the cramps have reduced too.
  • March 2018: Experienced pain for the first time with the WOW Freedom. I was anticipating my period and had a day full of travel so I popped the cup in. I felt like my insides were being sucked in together and this goes beyond unpleasant when you have to endure it for 6 hours through a performance and a panel discussion. I tried it again the next day when I had a less busy day and the same pain persisted. I switched to my old medium sized SilkyCup (my first one). No pain but the leaks began again.
  • April 2018: Went through the whole period with WOW Freedom again. This time though, I inserted the cup while lying flat on my back, the way I used to in the early days. There was no pain throughout the period but there were some minor leaks.

I haven’t had any major physical changes in the past year. I’ve worked out sporadically. My exercise routine has changed from the gym trainer-led machines workout to my own combination of body weight exercises, yoga and cardio. I don’t ache as much, sleep better and eat better, at least when I am working out. As with most other things, I realise I know my body best and I’m best equipped to figure out what it needs.

I’ve lived with allergies, practically my whole life. Food allergies, respiratory allergies, skin allergies — I’ve seen them all. But I’ve learnt to live with them and not just with medication. I know high stress times spark off my attacks. In line with that, it seems logical that my period health would also reflect my internal wellbeing (or lack of it).

The year I spent with an abusive boyfriend, I also had the most painful periods I’ve ever had, which carried on for year after we had parted ways. I’ve always had high pain tolerance but this was excruciating enough for me to faint once. The next time I dealt with problematic periods was 2010–2012, right on schedule alongside another abusive, violent relationship. This time it was weakness, extreme sleepiness, nausea and pain. And the month we broke up, a delayed period as well (which gave him the opportunity to say, “It’s not my problem.”). I think it’s safe to assume my menstrual cycle is a good gauge of how healthy I actually am internally, regardless of what I look like on the outside.

I have been dealing with a lot of heavy emotional issues in recent times. The odd thing is, my period flow hasn’t been heavier or even delayed. But the symptoms vary and perhaps it has impacted my pain tolerance or maybe even my internal measurements. So now I know this happens. This system is a living, thriving being and it mirrors how I feel outside. The menstrual cup is but a tool. It has made it easier for me to understand the variations in my period (not just flow and schedule, which is what most people notice).

This month, I’m glad to say, the period was on schedule, no unforeseen aches, no crippling pain, no unexpected symptoms. I have to figure out how to get through these with zero leaks now. Maybe it’s time to invest in a small sized cup as well for tighter times.

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If you liked this post, you’ll want to follow the Facebook Page and the Youtube channel. I’m Ramya Pandyan (a.k.a. Ideasmith) and I’m on Twitter and Instagram.

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Why Men Need To Get Quiet

Yes, that’s what I said. Yes, all men. Yes, as an entire gender.

Notice how much male-generated noise there is in the world? In politics, in art, in the media, in popular culture, in coffeeshops and bars and drawing rooms and boardrooms and bedrooms. There are more men in the world and they are saying much more. Ergo, they generate more verbal clutter. This is not a gendering accusation. It’s simple statistics.

I ran a small experiment. I looked up the term ‘Silence’ on Pixabay. All the images of people that came up on the first page were of women doing the finger-to-lips gesture. Others were of serene landscapes and peaceful places. Even some animals. But no men. Silence is not an attribute to be associated with men.

On the other hand, when I tried looking up ‘Speak’ on the same site, I found images of frogs, monkeys and men. This was the first picture that had a woman in it. Notice the number of men and their body language in it.

*The first picture featuring a woman in a search for ‘Speak’ on Pixabay

The dating scene, the art beat, the corporate world — these are all rife with men making verbal jumps without caution. Mansplaining, manspreading, constant needless aggression — just what makes an entire gender keep at this, despite all evidence of it only being damaging behaviour? I think it’s because men are constantly being pushed to be the opposite of quiet. The trick is to keep talking, they seem to be told. Let the verbal diarrhoea run, regardless of sense, propriety, reason or consideration. Keep speaking because if you don’t, you will will cease to exist. Doesn’t that explain why trolls and meninists bash on with statements that mean nothing at all? Or why men uniformly descend to aggression, even threats, when they reach a verbal stop? Because when they run out of words, they think their existence is running out unless they keep well, running. Even if they run all over the other person.

Consider this. Women are constantly being pushed to quietness. Silencing by bullying, by harassment, by ridicule, by social convention. Speak softly, speak of small things, speak little or better yet, not at all. In fact, quietness is prized as a virtue in a woman. Do not be a speaker, a thinker, an individual. Be a puzzle, a prize, an object.

If female, be seen, not heard.

By stark contrast, men are NEVER told to be quiet. If a man is quiet, it must be in a hyper-glorified character like Silent Brooder. Or Cryptic Wise Man. Or Damaged (subtext: sexy) Bad Boy. If he cannot pull these off, he can always plead shyness (“Aww, that’s sweet”) or social anxiety (“Here, let me take care of you”). Like being male and being quiet are not simultaneously possible or healthy and efforts must be made to change this situation immediately. His very silence must be turned into a story that screams loud enough to catch the world’s attention.

If male, be HEARD, even if you don’t have anything to say.

That’s a tall order for a gender that science believes is not as good at communication or social skills. Silence may be a female prison but maybe it is also a female prerogative. Some of us rage on about allowing women a voice. The other side of it is to get men to shut up and to let them shut up. We need to teach our men that their existence is not built of words only and that their value goes beyond what comes out of their mouths. 

The one picture I found featuring a man in a search for ‘Silence’ on Pixabay

So please, men, just BE QUIET. Shhh.

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If you liked this post, you’ll want to follow the Facebook Page and the Youtube channel. I’m Ramya Pandyan (a.k.a. Ideasmith) and I’m on Twitter and Instagram.

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