Make That One Water

This blogpost was triggered by this article: Giving up alcohol opened my eyes to the infuriating truth about why women drink

This December, I passed another milestone on my life journey and quit alcohol altogether.

I didn’t grow up in a culture that normalised drinking. But I did grow up in one that taught me to strategically become ‘Cool Girl’ as well as take the escapes where I found them.

In college this meant desexualising myself to the point of being mistaken for a boy several times, just so I would be taken seriously (after all, what’s a rough jolt on the back or crass language when you get heard?). When I hit the working world, mid 00s I realised if I didn’t please the male gaze, I wouldn’t just be silenced, I’d be decimated. And alongside lipstick and laughs came alcohol, heels and late nights.

I gave up vodka in 2007 itself, realising I did not like it while I was consuming it or what it did to my body later. I quit tequila after a nightmarish alcohol-poisoning incident in 2010 (curiously linked with trying to fit in with an abusive partner’s friends). I gave up wine subtly because I realised no one would listen to my saying it was an alcohol too and I didn’t like how it felt in my body. I gave up beer in 2016 following a summer where I forced myself to try it in a bid to be cool. And in December, I chased up a traumatic year of attacks and harassment with ‘rum with the girls’. I was sick for 2 weeks after that (though only initially because of the alcohol).

This year I’ve decided to firmly close the door on all alcohol. And I’ve taken the hits badly (but in a non intoxicated state). What a world you’ve consigned me to, when a toxic substance is the closest thing to a friend I have had.

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If you liked this post, you’ll want to follow the Facebook Page and the Youtube channel. I’m Ramya Pandyan (a.k.a. Ideasmith) and I’m on Twitter and Instagram.

About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on March 23, 2018, in Being Woman, Media Messages and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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