Sorry I Didn’t Wait Till 8 March To Speak

We’re leading up to the grand tamasha called Women’s Day where you can expect to see the world pat itself on the back for giving half its population one day. You’ll also find a lot of men applauding each other for being so considerate of women. And congratulating one another on what good men they are for allowing women a special day. And finally, refraining from PMS jokes for that one day. Well done, men.

Here is a piece that I performed this Monday. Before I went up on stage, I was announced as

‘That poet who the women will love and the men better beware because the poetry is going to slap them’.

Once I finished, I was asked why I disliked men so much. Then a young man I barely knew parked himself next to me and in the semi-darkness during the subsequent performances, proceeded to harass me on my social adjustment issues, my hatred of men and my problematic past. Of note, said young man is also a poet who is infrequent on the scene. He also has a bad stammer and earlier in the evening, I had applauded his performance because I know how much courage it takes to go up on stage. He did not however, feel equally kindly towards me. He also felt perfectly able to attack me in a place where I’m a regular and when I was surrounded by friends. This is not the first time men have behaved in such a manner on the performance/poetry scene and every single time I protested, I’ve been told that I was taking things too seriously or that ‘he’s just young’.

Here’s the piece I performed. Dare I point out that it doesn’t mention men anywhere?

After all, feminism is only feminism when a man speaks about it. A male feminist is a hero and a female feminist is nothing more than an angry, man-hating bitch. Thank you for putting me in my place, fellow poets.

It looks like the stage does not permit me to speak my mind so let me hide on my blog for as long as it takes for the trolls to find me. Tonight a lot of you stay up celebrating a god whose legacy includes blurring gender roles, assimilating the masculine and the feminine and indeed, expressing an open need of his equal half – his female partner and side. That’s it. Think about it. You can wish me on 8th March on the one day in the year I don’t have to apologise for not being male and then congratulate yourselves for doing so. Thank you.

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*If you liked this post, you’ll want to follow the Facebook Page. I’m Ramya Pandyan (a.k.a. Ideasmith) and I’m on Twitter and Instagram.

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on February 24, 2017, in Being Woman, Harassment & abuse, I'm An Indian Woman, Men, men, men, Seriously speaking, Survival Guide and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. You draw ciritisism by your comments like moths are dawn to fire.i have seen it on Twitter and in the blog’s.The main reason it gets blown up as because you find it difficult to accept or counter any view contrary to yours.but nothing has changed in the past ten years so don’t expect it to change anytime soon.
    The funny part is one single male comment (there have been several females also on Twitter) .Makes you crib and write poison quotes against all man kind.its pretty hilarious.but friends who know you won’t dare tell you this in your face fearing your ire or permanent banishment from your friends circle.
    I guess I will get it now for bring so Frank .Commenters sometime hope to beliked by the awesome bloggers they follow.but that would entail blasting men and giving you super sweet compliments all the time.oh well…

    • @mansplaining: Hey little troll, how wonderful that you managed to type out an entire comment all on your own. Congratulations! Here’s the attention you so desperately seek from me. Now go back to dreaming about a world where you’re worshipped for being you. Good night.

  2. Why do you need a special day and if it does, we, men not doing you a favor, I’d say Idea Smithy. There are too many favors in this world that make men over entitled entities. I think that young man needs to introspect on the history of patriarch and oppression.

    Love the last lines.

    • @vishalbheeroo: Agreed. Would you believe there are a lot of men who resent even the fact that Women’s Day exists because “arre, men’s day to koi nahin bolta, sab kuch auraton ke liye hi hain”.

      • I am not surprised looking how men react in my entourage. I have an old uncle in 70s saying women are at the root of all evils. How do you react with such mindsets?!

      • @vishalbheeroo: With anger, most of the time. But during those rare moments of clarity, with patience and strength. Aggression and hatred both come from a place of fear. Hitting back with the same is counterproductive but there is at least some hope if one is able to respond with patience. I am not able to summon this as often as I’d like to but I’m learning. It’s the way forward for everyone concerned, right?

      • It’s quite a tough call, I agree. Reacting to things is counter productive and in rare instance, I am able to. Fully agree.

  3. I eat pain on toast for breakfast…the recital was superb and bang on, idea smithy:)

    • @vishalbheeroo: Thank you, Vishal. I’m done eating pain on toast for breakfast though. Men who hate women can go on doing that. I don’t need to carry the burden of making them human anymore.

      • Guess I need to be knocked sense into my head. Changing the world…I’m still not done with that!!

      • @vishalbheeroo: I didn’t mean that as an attack on you. A lot of us want to change the world. The trouble is with men who will do it at the cost of destroying women and calling it Women Empowerment.

      • Nopes, I didn’t feel it was an attack but sharing my views. I meant it in a very light way and perhaps, need to slightly alter the way of viewing things. Perhaps, better we change ourselves than the world. Point noted.

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