Getting Back Into Dating

As I wait for the divorce to come through (maybe I’ll do a post on the complications of divorce in India someday) friends have started asking,

“So have you started dating again?”

The question used to make me recoil with horror. Because while I am attracted to confident and beautiful women, I don’t feel ready for a relationship. And I really don’t know if I ever will be. A divorced man (and woman) is seen as flawed by members of the opposite sex and society as a a whole.

So I don’t really know what they mean when they ask me if I will start dating again. Do they mean I should start dating other separated and divorced women or women who are spinsters over 35 and are desperate enough to marry a divorced man paying money to his ex-wife for child support?

Uncannily, thanks to Facebook, I have connected with two old female friends (who I have never considered in a romantic way) and discovered that they are separated/divorced – a fact that changed the way I thought of them. Would they be interested? I think not… but my reaction to their relationship status intrigued me.

Then there are single women who want to chat with you – but knowing that they are 12 yrs younger than you makes you cringe as you wonder

“Are they closer in age to my kids than to me?”

When I mentioned this to a 26 yr old her reply was,

“Come on! 38 is not old! Why are you making yourself older than you are?”

Then there are the older women – 33 to 40 yr olds who, after knowing your status, want to meet for a coffee. My previous marriage was a decision based on a month of dating.. and I am now really scared of people in a hurry in relationships (even myself)

As I focus again on a single life – I hope to figure out the changed rules of dating… and will keep you updated

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About thesinglemarriedman

Blogging about passing through a divorce

Posted on September 12, 2011, in Featured, Relationships, Survival Guide, The Dating Game, The Single Married Man, Times, they are a-changing, Unholy Matrimony and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Interesting. I see one of my uncle go through the same. And he is being asked to remarry. Now, I have a tad bit of an insight as to what he must be feeling..!

  2. Facebook is a great way to connect with new women or ones you’ve had ‘flings’ with before. When you’re ready to start dating again you should be open to any way to meet people

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  4. hi

    i just wanna say that i dont agree that divorced is a flaw — it’s an experience
    😀 be happy and do whatever that make you happy without hurting other people 😀
    have a nice day and thanx for sharing

  1. Pingback: XXFactored Sep11: Geek Girls & Romance In Current Times « XX Factor

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