Monthly Archives: April 2011
A friend was saying that he’d decided that most women were cowards because they would not stand up to their families, not stand up for the men they wanted to be with. For a fact, I’ve seen a good number of relationships end because of familial opposition – on the basis of religious, caste, linguistic and economic differences. It is truly sad for a relationship to end, not because of the couple’s differences but because of other people’s views.
However, I must also say that I have always had great regard for women who take their family’s desires into consideration while choosing a life partner. This isn’t quite the same as the Mama’s boy syndrome where some men unquestioningly gulp down whatever is shoved down their proverbial throats. The women I’m talking about, make their own choices and these choices definitely factor in their family’s ideas too. I so much stand by that.
The fact is that few people will ever care as much as your own blood family, misunderstandings and irritants notwithstanding. That said, they are no more than human and have a right to their own foibles and prejudices. My greatest admiration in this regard is reserved for two women, one a neighbor and one a friend. Both women met the men they wanted to spend their lives with and had to contend with parental opposition – due to differences in religion and in caste respectively. The families of both women (the fathers most particularly) ran the entire hullaballoo from tearful melodrama to icy coldness. Both women stood firm and held that they would not marry anyone else. And in addition, would not get married without their families’ complete blessings either. Persistence won out in both cases. The first couple has two children, both the darlings of their doting grandfather’s eyes. The second couple celebrates their fifth wedding anniversary this year, blissfully in love..and peacefully so too. All was certainly well that ended well in these two cases.
I guess not everyone is that lucky or even that tenacious. If it really came down to having to choose, I can’t imagine a man would be ‘right’ for me unless my family was aligned to my choice as well. Family is one’s own after all, and their well-intended perspective could be very useful in such an important choice. Does that necessarily mean that I am a coward, unable to go against them? Or does it make me any less independent – or feminist? You tell me.
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XX Factor has been having a few adventures this month. I contributed an article to Femina.in (linked below). I faced down a copycat attack and with a lot of support from the onlineverse, got him to take it down. Quarter-year and I’m also looking at diversifying the interests of this blog and changing its tone. I think it’s time to take XX Factor from a personal confessional into a full-blown social commentary space. It’s been on that path for awhile, all that remains is to make it ‘official’. But nothing happens without your okay so please use the pollbox or the comments section to tell me what you think of this.
And after that, here’s what XX Factor is featuring this month:
Read the rest of this entry
Yet another copycat!
Here’s my post called ‘Inherited Relationships’, posted on 24 March 2011.
And here’s Jignesh Thakkar doing a repeat of that post on 1 April 2011.
Note now that the post ends with (in tiny lettering which is the online version of fine print),
Now here are some things to think about:
- Jignesh Thakkar did not ask for my permission to copy the post. That alone makes the ‘courtesy’ a laughable matter.
- The link on Jignesh Thakkar’s post does not go to my post but to the blog in general. For someone who took the effort to copy-paste an entire blogpost, including the title, this seems like a deliberate lapse.
- I am a writer and my content is literally, my living. I’m paid to write and distribute my content online. Copy-pasting my content is the online equivalent of picking up merchandise and walking away without paying for it.
- I don’t see how Jignesh Thakkar benefits from this action. This is the internet. The original article can be found with a simple Google search or even a click. Why would someone want to read copied content online? What’s more, what would a reader think of a blogger who cannot even post original content? And at the other end, the copied-from party, me is hurt too. The same content popping up in multiple places affects SEO, thus devaluing the entire article.
I’ve experienced copycats before, both in the offline and the online world. Online is where it struck me as most stupid, considering how easy it is to track down the original. Oddly enough, each of those times, I was advised to not make a big deal of it, to drop it and even to take it as a compliment since someone wanted to copy my material.
I don’t understand this. Would you be honoured that someone saw fit to steal from you? Would you take it as a compliment if someone came and kidnapped your child? My writing is my creation and hence no less important to me than a child would be to a parent.
So yes, I am choosing to take a stand on this. Stealing my blogpost is not permissible. If you agree with me, leave a comment here, at Jignesh Thakkar’s (copycat) blogpost, tweet about it, RT my tweet, blog about it or add your voice in whatever way you see fit.
Here are some of the people who already have:
Update: I tweeted about Jignesh Thakkar’s copied post. It got RTed, a number of people shared their experiences with content theft. Also a couple of people (some friends) thought I was making a big deal out of nothing and that such things were ‘commonplace’ online.
Update 2: Following the advice of two friends in the know, I notified Google (since Jignesh Thakkar’s blog is hosted on Google’s Blogspot). I did this by using the ‘Report Abuse’ menu in the topbar. Google sent back a notification of my complaint being registered.
Update 3: Exactly a day later, I received a notification from Google that the copied post was no longer on Jignesh Thakkar’s blog. They must have found a way to get in touch with him too (which I wasn’t able to) since I received a reply to my email. He also put up the following posts (1, 2) apologizing for the post he took from my blog and also announcing that he was reviewing his blog to clear it of any such cases.
My father does it. I remember my cousin doing it from the summer he stayed with us. And now, to my horror and disgust, I find my boyfriend does it too!
I shudder to enter the toilet. No, this is not about that old seat up/down debate. Look higher. There’s a book lying on the flush tank!!! Sacrilege! Books are divine carriers of the holy light of wisdom and human experience. Imagine exposing them to the unclean atmosphere of the toilet, not to mention actually reading them?!
Why oh why do men insist on reading in the toilet? Now I don’t understand why one needs to be entertained in the toilet. It’s not a library, it’s not a spa, it’s not your bedroom, it’s a disposal station! You go in, do your business and you get out. But no!
The boy says,
“Reading in the loo is to men what taking a shower is to women. It’s an experience!”
Now what am I to say to that?
A version is posted to Yahoo! Real Beauty.
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There must have been as many women as men in the audience. The television was switched on an hour early, by my mother, not father. On Saturday night, the entire country, gender irrespective, celebrated India’s win of the World Cup 2011. Everyone on my Facebook and Twitter feeds was talking about it (and I have a fair balance of male-female ratio in my onlineverse). Before you say that’s only true of this country’s favorite sport, the same repeats during football season too. That seems to put paid to the myth that sports only appeal to men.
Why then, do women seem to be lagging behind in sports? My father, a tennis aficionado, tells me that men’s tennis is far more competitive than women’s. And that’s still a sport that allows the genders to mix. I understand that this may not be viable in every sport. The proximity that some of them require, may not be to everyone’s taste. And the physical make-up of men and women being different, it might be complicated to evenly match teams and assess competitors fairly. But if there are enough people of each gender interested, presumably there will be enough players, competitors to populate teams and drive tournaments.
Or could it be that as audience, we’re just not as interested in seeing women compete?
* A version is posted to Yahoo! Real Beauty .