Protection – A Monologue

What lies behind protectiveness?

Would you beat up someone for me? If I got hurt, would you want revenge? And why?
Nothing you do or say can change what has happened.
There is a certain helplessness about not being able to change the past. I can feel it and I imagine you feel it too. Is it because you are supposed to be responsible for me? Is it because my well-being and safety validate your existance in my life?

In that case, isn’t it only to prove a point?
To show that you’re playing your role as protector, friend, guide, lover, father, brother…so well?

And what is behind my mask of indifferent independence?

Am I too proud to admit I need help?
Am I too scared to admit I could be scared too?
Do I want you to understand that without my saying it at all?
Do I want to be protected without acknowleding the protection?

Do I want to even remember that I have been hurt?
Do I want to look at wounds that exist
Or do I just want to look away and pretend everything is perfect?

And in the midst of all this….there are such labels as love and jealousy and comittment and security to save us from having to face reality.

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on August 3, 2009, in Hormone hangover. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I guess protectiveness has more to do with prevention. Once you are hurt, the other person cant protect you from pain, but they can make it cease.. if you let them
    .-= lena´s last blog ..Maybe This Time =-.

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