Are We There Yet?

I need love, love, love
To ease my mind
I need to find, find, find
Someone to call mine
But mama said
You can’t hurry love
You just have to wait

– ‘You can’t hurry love’ Phil Collins

But mama also says (someone else’s mama, my mum and I don’t discuss such things)…a married friend’s mama says,

Don’t expect any kind of sense for about 3 years. After that they kind of settle down.

Apparently PATIENCE is a virtue, a prized one for a woman. Me? I never met a man who didn’t make me want to tear his head off in a short while. Irrespective of how much I liked him. Men are like that. Born to annoy.

How does thou annoy me? Let’s count. (In no particular order of priority, they’re all equally irksome)

  • Committment-phobia
  • Control issues
  • EEEEEEGO (with a huge, big, monstrous, mammoth of an E)
  • Stubborness
  • Idiotic remarks
  • Juvenile humour
  • Bad taste in clothes, furniture, colors, everything!
  • The gall to comment on my taste
  • Screwed-up priorities (“Let’s go watch the match now!”)
  • Hormone surges (okay, cross that, it isn’t always a problem)
  • Bird-watching
  • Complete cluelessness about the concept of ‘Conversation’

And then suddenly one day, he turns around and says something totally stupid that throws you off your feet completely and it’s suddenly clear why you put up with it all.

Phewwww..*Deeeeep breath* I think I’m forgetting. I’ve never been high on patience anyway.

Some day, some day, some day I’ll learn to tolerate a man being a man. And not keep looking into those starry-eyes and asking,

Okay, have we grown-up as yet?

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on November 11, 2008, in Battle of the sexes, Hormone hangover and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 18 Comments.

  1. Nice post. 🙂

    Men never ever grow up. Period.

  2. what about when men say to to gain attention, “hey chick!…” – Gaining attention in the most (un)sophisticated manner that does not feature in the list!!

  3. LOL!

    When you are 16, they seem 13, when you are 22 they still seem 13!!

    I guess when you are 25-ish they seem to be around 18-ish??

  4. some would argue that some sorts of maturity are bad,

    i hope you never grow up to never be irritated at a guy, thats just plain unnnatural.

    I hate hearing “commitment phobia” its the most overused and least honest of excuses ever.

    schizo

  5. do you realise this post is enough to make any man run away from you ?
    i can tell you are a feminist !

    men don;t show you much attention unless they are drunk do they ?

  6. Girl, it is not simply that we men call ourselves the “Boys” all our life! do “Boys” ever grow up????

  7. @ Priti, Pragni: 😀

    @ Moksh: Sheeeeshh….I hate that term ‘chick’. What about us reminds men of yellow-feathered baby birds?

    @ schizo: Heh, you’re the saving grace for your gender. Like I said, sometimes you hear something that makes you stop in your tracks and remember just why you put up with it…

    @ inexile: Why, are you drunk?

    @ Nirav Thakker: 😀

  8. I was concerned about Point No.3 and about to send you some advice.
    Then I saw Point No.9 and said to myself: This more than makes up for Point No:3 !

    🙂

  9. Why do men irritate you so much ?why?
    I have never seem a woman? getting so irritated by freaking words! if you cant handle it just stay away from them .

    I think you need a firang

    I need love, love, love —- yea the firang will give you that as long as you give him the same

    To ease my mind – —have no idea what you are on about

    I need to find, find, find – —find your self first you are freaking lost .

    Someone to call mine – –a firang would fit that bill

    But mama said – most firangs are not mamas boys

    You can’t hurry love – —yeah firangs will love to take it easy the whole life time just your type.

    You just have to wait —- yeah marriage is for wimps

    but… they wont commit. –commitment is for insecure woman hint!hint! how can anyone even think you are the right one for them when you have 100s for freaking irritations. Maybe some vipassana and introspection may help.

    I feel it is something in your past which has made you so intolerant . Maybe you should remain single then ever try to find any middle ground with a guy,I am really serious !
    Here you “want” “want” things you way,maybe you need to live in some mills and boon book .

    Most men will never stand intolerant woman who whine over the stupidest things.Are you like this in real life?

    Most men are using those terms as they are really unsure you are right for them ,probably their intuition says they can never live with a person like you forever.

    * Commitment-phobia
    Do you really really think about why?is it you ?is it them? is it something else?

    * Control issues why?do you make them feel insecure by your behavior ? or are they really nuts?control is never there when there is mutual trust and respect ,so this is lacking somewhere . think about it !!

    * EEEEEEGO (with a huge, big, monstrous, mammoth of an E)
    And you have no ego?are you perfect?or are you still into the narcissist guys

    * Stubbornness
    and you are not?

    * Idiotic remarks
    This dumb word is used by mainly indian females a lot. idiotic – insanely irresponsible. humm i do not know the context so cannot comment.

    * Juvenile humor
    So what is your problem? Seriously if they are having fun what is your problem(are they court jesters there to make you laugh with sophisticated jokes?).Maybe you need to find a duke or a prince from the uk .

    * Bad taste in clothes, furniture, colors, everything!
    fine a fashion designer (rohit? isint he gay?)
    furniture? find an interior designer
    Why do you want them to like what you like ? You are NOT the most important thing on earth . I am sure you know that.

    * The gall to comment on my taste
    Oh they are so sorry to comment your highness.

    * Screwed-up priorities (”Let’s go watch the match now!”)
    Maybe you have living in a tower all your life to know that that behavior is normal and not screwed up. Most woman who love their guys join in the fun or just let them have their fun at times if they do not relate to them .

    * Hormone surges (okay, cross that, it isn’t always a problem)
    Is that their problem or your problem?Or the problem is you do not know how to handle it ?

    * Bird-watching
    maybe you need to blind fold them and give them a whipping.

    * Complete clueless about the concept of ‘Conversation’
    Your highness you need to be at your palace where you will find a lot of conversation .

    Frankly you are one of those odd woman out there! An interesting study in the weirdness of some woman out there.

  10. Ah. Er. Uhm. I have said enough>

  11. @ Rada: 😀

    @ Sani:
    1. The first few lines are lyrics from a song called ‘You can’t hurry love’ (see reference at end).

    2. I don’t know whether I need a firang or not but perhaps you could read my earlier post titled ‘The Indian Man’ to see some related thoughts.

    3. Committment-phobia could be a problem with me, if it was just the men I was involved with who showed it. However, most of my female friends (married, committed, single) tell me that they face this in their men. And if you think committment is for the insecure, I wonder what that makes you.

    4.True, control issues don’t arise when there’s mutual respect. But that’s a concept that seems alien to most men I know.

    5. Ego, stubborness: Assume I am by all means. And also note that this post is tagged as ‘Rant’.

    6. Idiotic remarks: Presumably YOU date only firang women?

    7. Juvenile humour: That said, I’d rather have one of those than a guy who has neither the wit to answer back nor the dignity to keep shut…and worse, doesn’t get what to take seriously and what not.

    8. Taste: I fail to understand what a designer being gay has anything to do with my post. Personally I think homophobia indicates deep-seated insecurity about one’s sexuality. ‘Nuff said.

    9. Screwed-up priorities: And well you would do to stick to women who cater to your every whim. Incidently you do know that’s the way you’d treat a small child, not a full-grown adult?

    10. Hormone surges: Does the word ‘irony’ mean anything to you, buster?

    11. Bird-watching: Keep your fantasies out of this, please.

    12: Cluelessness: And sweetie, I am. This happens to my blog and you’re a visitor here.

    I wonder if I should be more amused or disgusted by the fact that you’ve probably spent far more time writing this comment than I did, the post. Might I suggest you find a blog of your own to vent?

  12. Gosh! Cant a woman rant in peace?
    M…E…N! (much shaking of the head)
    Comments/reactions not required (could add to the list, but seeing the furore here, don’t think so)
    Dearie me, Ideasmith, Irony is, i feel, kinda wasted on some of your visitors :-)!
    Cheers
    K

  13. you have one helluva patience to reply to such a long comment!!! 🙂 awesome girl! keep it going that way! 🙂

  14. heh, say, is sani an ex? sounds like one 🙂

    he needeth a blog, and a girlfriend, or maybe thats why…

    ciao

    this is funny, i hope he comes back.

  15. Taste: I fail to understand what a designer being gay

    The fact you picked up a single word “gay” out of context twisted it around and made it look like something to do with my sexual orientation speaks loads.

    I said :- fine a fashion designer (rohit? is int he gay?)
    Does that show homophobia ?Seriously !If he is gay he is not available that is all i was saying. Guess you are truly from venus? assumption 1.

    Idiotic remarks,how idiotic ,how dumb not usually found in the vocabulary of female in other parts of the world. Just an observation.

    control issues But that’s a concept that seems alien to most men I know.
    Have you ever wondered why? Or you never had the time to think about it?

    Bird-watching
    what i meant was if you dont want your guy to look,cover their eyes. Sorry I am not into S&m as you again read too much into the statement .
    assumption 2 do you do this often?

    Try to hang around less with losers 🙂 you wont be ranting so much then.

    PS love your blog cant get enough of it.

  16. bird watching: Hey all my girlfriends approved of my birdwatching..the feathered ones of course :P(birds not the girlfriends)

    did you just say#
    # Bad taste in clothes, furniture, colors, everything!

    immediately followed by

    # The gall to comment on my taste

    someone could raise an issue you know. 🙂

  17. @ Nirav Thakker: Actually I’m not known for my patience. But well, may it never be said that I’m inhospitable at my blog.

    @ schizo: I don’t think so. None of them had the temerity to talk back. I have (I think and hope) shut them up for good.

    @ sani: You’re back! “Try to hang around less with losers” – can I help it if they comprise over half the world’s population?

    @ Australopithecus: Oh really? Waiting…waiting…waiting… 😈

  1. Pingback: You Can’t Hurry Love…Or A Man! « XX Factor

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