Much About The Mouch

There are men who look good with facial hair. Greek gods walk in our midst after all.

Milind Soman, Kabir Bedi

Milind Soman, Kabir Bedi

Then there are those who’re passably nice looking and on whom the facial fuzz can act like the proverbial Fairy Godmother (oh okay, magic potion a la Shrek) completely transforming their faces into something else altogether!

Of course every once in awhile we do come up against a case of the mustache making the man (and not vice versa). These are those speciMENs that are ordinary, even laughable clean-shaven (remember Lamhe?) but add some fuzz and voila – a star is born!

Anil Kapoor, Kunal Kapoor

Anil Kapoor, Kunal Kapoor

And then there are all those images one has, leftovers from too many childhood stories, of Chinese gentlemen in floor-sweeping rebonded-straight mustaches. Are those supposed to be shampooed? 🙂

Back in land of idlis and software, where I come from, a mouch is considered a sign of manliness so you’ll rarely spot a clean upper lip. Facial fungus rules! Oh ewww I shudder and tell my family…..

Much about the mouch

Why am I so acerbic? I’ve lived all my life with a mustachioed man after all. But then again there’s no one quite like Dad. Besides I have nasty memories of horrid punishments that involved the moochie. When I was extra naughty, dad would grab me and rub his cheek on mine. Far more effective than spanking, it was like being sandpapered. So now when it comes to gentlemen professing l’amour for me, smooth faces get brownie points…I have no intention of thinking of childhood punishments and dad in the midst of such activity.

The mustache is so much more than a line (or jungle) of hair. It’s a style statement, an extremely sexual one at that! It’s probably the oldest icon of male vanity (not to mention the oldest excuse men use to gain our sympathies in the ‘how painful to scrape one’s face everyday’ school of thought).

The goatee or French beard (I can’t tell the difference – is there one?) straddles the machismo of the mustache as well as the dandiness of vanity – the perfect accessory for a Metrosexual Man (which is probably the only reason I resist it). Then again, faces can look quite appealing with the mini-mouch (muhahaha..) except for the ones with too much of baby-fat (but there’s very little to improve those, one supposes!)

So finally, how do you like your men? Mustachioed, in-between or not at all?

About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on May 14, 2008, in I'm An Indian Woman, Media Messages, On a lighter note.., The Dating Game, Vanity Unfair and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. “Smooth faces get brownie points”!

    I am shattered; nay, I am devastated!

    Aap se ye ummeed na thi! 😦

  2. “smooth faces get brownie points”


  3. @ Rada: 😛 That’s the way it is!

    @ gautamghosh: Spectacles get bonus points!

  4. next post on “why women make passes on guys with glasses” 😉 ?

  5. “The goatee or French beard (I can’t tell the difference – is there one?) straddles the machismo of the mustache as well as the dandiness of vanity – the perfect accessory for a Metrosexual Man”

    -You have got to be kidding me….have u been drinking again?

  6. @ gautamghosh: That’s a question? 😀

    @ Pensive Lawyer: Pumpkin!!!! Who me? *Hic*

  7. this is so hilarious. i started a post about mouch JUST ten minutes ago and i started bloghopping in between and i see this!

    great minds child, great minds!

  8. “Smooth faces get brownie points”!


    We didn’t have razors back then..we had to scrape hair of with flint implements, which is why due to nasty accidents you don’t see to many australopithecus’ anymore.

  9. Haha I agree with you there, and about the glasses-getting-bonus-points too.

    Milind would look amazing even if he were to be beaten-up and starved and marooned on an island for a month. His are not the laws of common men.

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