Daily Archives: March 10, 2008

The Right To Choose & The Freedom To Decline

This post (quite unexpectedly) brought in several responses.

Shefaly is a feminist and not ashamed of it. She also identifies it so strongly with her identity that she believes that all women are feminists. And she asks,

Why is it that it is ok for groups to huddle together if they play basketball or run marathons or make films, but not if they are the same gender or same race or same age?

I’m delighted to find that men add the voice of reason on XXFactor. Here are Rambler, Ashish and Amey giving us their thoughts:

I do not think feminism is about male bashing.

Feminism is more of a ‘non-male’ part rather than ‘anti-male’.

I am pretty sure you are closer to being a sexist.

So much for answers! My single question seems to have sparked off a host of new questions!

Firstly it occurs to me that I’m just going wayyyy too anti-male here. I actually don’t dislike men that much in real life. In fact I don’t dislike them at all!! To echo Pragni, I’m thinking of my father, my teachers, my buddies, my favorite boss, my mentor…well, plenty of men anyway. Maybe I should drop some of the OTT humour and speak my real mind for a change. Hmm.

Secondly, I’m most intrigued by the aspect that Chandni brings up. There certainly is a definite “I’m so much better” attitude among the Modern Woman (a stereotype by the way based on this blog’s author..meh). I’ve poked enough of fun at my housewife-y friends, deriding their smug attitudes and portraying myself as a lone achiever. I’m still not on the same planet as beings who believe that they were born to serve and satisfy MANkind.

On the other hand, my best friend is a highly intelligent woman who just has other interests and who would at some point of time, like to quit the corporate world and spend the time starting a family and spending time with them. Another close friend has decided not to pursue what I imagine would have been a fulfiling career and instead pursues another equally challenging (if not more) job as full-time mommy. I’ve never thought of either of these women as inferior to me in any way. That stems from the fact that I know that in both cases, their lives are their own. Their desicions may be influenced by other people at times but they bear the full responsibility for these.

After all, the right to choose includes the right to say yes – or no!!

Can I then sum that to say that a feminist is a person who is aware of the power of choice? If a woman, she knows what is available to her and has the freedom to exercise it or not. If a man, he is appreciative and accepting of a woman as his equal counterpart.

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