Monthly Archives: March 2008

Birthday lessons

While on a nostalgia trip about this bunch, here’s another nugget.

It was the happiest of times and the whackiest of times. My birthday at an age when there were still ‘landmark year’ birthdays. The rowdy bunch, quite uncharacteristically nice, decided to throw me a party and do everything themselves. So here I was at 11 in the morning, sitting around in a vacant flat that belonged to someone’s uncle with a disused fax machine for company. It was a ‘come as you are since the birthday girl won’t bother dressing up’ thing.

What are we waiting for?

I demanded and was told that,

X, Y and Z are bringing the birthday cake.

X, Y and Z being my best guy friend/lurrve, best girlfriend and her boyfriend. So we twiddled thumbs awhile longer and wondered WTF are they doing, hatching eggs for the cake?

They finally put up an appearance two hours later, laden down with parcels. Gifts I hoped and I was dismayed to see plastic bags and old newspapers instead. Till they proceeded to demonstrate.

First, X dipped his hand into the plastic mess and came out with…a big carrot

Great, I murmured…what’s this….diet cake?

Just something for those long, lonely nights!!!!

replied Y with an evil grin. I sat up.

The next thing to emerge from the bag was a big cucumber with those tiny light-green spore-y things on it.

For dotted pleasure…!

said Z with a flourish.

So it continued for a few minutes. The plastic bag was dipped into and each time a new vegetable came up for inspection with a lascivious comment following. The last thing to emerge was a vile looking karela (bitter gourd) and the presentation was concluded with…

For extra friction!

And if that wasn’t enough, my birthday cake was chocolate slathered all over with vanilla icing and the words,

Happy b-day gal…beware of the white stuff!

I went off veggies for awhile after that. 🙂


Simple Math

Much as I hate forwards, I really have to recycle this joke here. I don’t think there can be enough laughs to this one!

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:

Dear Wife:

You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter that I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I will be home before midnight.

When he arrived at the hotel, there a fax was waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband,

You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you read this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, my love, do not wait up!

Brava, Mrs.Professor! 🙂

The Right To Choose & The Freedom To Decline

This post (quite unexpectedly) brought in several responses.

Shefaly is a feminist and not ashamed of it. She also identifies it so strongly with her identity that she believes that all women are feminists. And she asks,

Why is it that it is ok for groups to huddle together if they play basketball or run marathons or make films, but not if they are the same gender or same race or same age?

I’m delighted to find that men add the voice of reason on XXFactor. Here are Rambler, Ashish and Amey giving us their thoughts:

I do not think feminism is about male bashing.

Feminism is more of a ‘non-male’ part rather than ‘anti-male’.

I am pretty sure you are closer to being a sexist.

So much for answers! My single question seems to have sparked off a host of new questions!

Firstly it occurs to me that I’m just going wayyyy too anti-male here. I actually don’t dislike men that much in real life. In fact I don’t dislike them at all!! To echo Pragni, I’m thinking of my father, my teachers, my buddies, my favorite boss, my mentor…well, plenty of men anyway. Maybe I should drop some of the OTT humour and speak my real mind for a change. Hmm.

Secondly, I’m most intrigued by the aspect that Chandni brings up. There certainly is a definite “I’m so much better” attitude among the Modern Woman (a stereotype by the way based on this blog’s author..meh). I’ve poked enough of fun at my housewife-y friends, deriding their smug attitudes and portraying myself as a lone achiever. I’m still not on the same planet as beings who believe that they were born to serve and satisfy MANkind.

On the other hand, my best friend is a highly intelligent woman who just has other interests and who would at some point of time, like to quit the corporate world and spend the time starting a family and spending time with them. Another close friend has decided not to pursue what I imagine would have been a fulfiling career and instead pursues another equally challenging (if not more) job as full-time mommy. I’ve never thought of either of these women as inferior to me in any way. That stems from the fact that I know that in both cases, their lives are their own. Their desicions may be influenced by other people at times but they bear the full responsibility for these.

After all, the right to choose includes the right to say yes – or no!!

Can I then sum that to say that a feminist is a person who is aware of the power of choice? If a woman, she knows what is available to her and has the freedom to exercise it or not. If a man, he is appreciative and accepting of a woman as his equal counterpart.

What makes a feminist?

The world is my bee-hive

Am I a feminist because…

….I write about the incessant stupidity of men?

….I crib about their committment-phobias, their thoughtlessness, their fragile egos and their hazaar nakhras?

….I claim (as I truly believe) that men are a luxury, a vice, an expensive hobby but not ever a dire necessity?

The dictionary defines feminism as:

1. the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
2. (sometimes initial capital letter) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.
3. feminine character.

That’s not quite the same thing.

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