Manguide 4: States Of India

This might seem to overlap with this chapter but it doesn’t really. That was about the place they live in, this is the colour that runs in their blood (it’s neither red nor blue!)

Gujjubhai : Now I’m going to run against the tide in this city when I rate this man top of my list of good prospective partners. Indeed it was a Gujju who made it clear when he explained,

For a Gujju man, you are an investment. He invests his time, his money and his emotions in you. He doesn’t make stupid desicions in these matters and he will never let an investment go waste. This man knows what he wants and he will get it.

That last line clinched it. How many other men, degrees, dollars et al can say the same thing? Never mind the implied cold-heartedness, I’m all for unshakeable loyalty over fleeting romance any day. Hand me a thepla….

MalluMan : For some weird reason, all the funny men I keep running into, turn out to have a lineage tracing back to ‘Gaad’s worrrn country’. I’m just being a friendly neighbor but I like these men who can laugh at themselves. And yeah, that curly mop hides a quick ticking brain.

Tamizhan: Okay, you already know my opinion on this breed. Familiarity breeds contempt, perhaps? I usually seem to like the stiffy, stodgy, pedigreed types. And that certainly describes our Tamizhan to the T! Of note, if he doesn’t swear by thair-sadam, he isn’t authentically Tam. Even if he is a software engineer in the U.S. with a pedigree and a state rank thrown in for good measure.

Punjab da puttar: Hehehe, you would think I would lurrrrve the male equivalent of this species. Not, however. I guess I prefer to be the star of any show. On the other hand, these guys make for great, huggy-teddy-bear type buddies for girls like me. For the rest of you with tastes different from mine, look for Prince Charming, complete with slick dressing, drenched in perfume (yes, not cologne unless he’s a Dilliwalla) and flowery language. Are you willing to be pretty Cinderella, though?

Bengali babu: Now I really hate this man. He’s the one with lofty ideals, who can throw patriotic fervour with even more panache than romantic poetry. There’s something quite sweet-as-roshogolla about him. And then again, as my heart breaks over the nice temperamental Bong dude who looks like he’s perfectly content being bossed over by women, I’m reminded of another Bong who smirked,

We just let everyone believe that. Who wants to run the world? The women can do it.

Huh. That takes the joy out of the fight for equality. And there’s something quite vile about a man who does know how to use his words. Stand warned, fellow romantics!

Marathi mulga: This one is astonishingly similar to the Tamizhan, minus the curd rice. Unlike the Bong though, he isn’t impressed simply by the fact that you can speak his mother tongue. Hardly impressed by your smart talking. Not visibly anyway. Not exactly a male chauvinist and yet…there is something faintly old-grandpa-like. Yes, even the cool Savarkars.
Quite stable though, if that’s what you’re looking for. Forget the flash though.

I’m obviously missing quite a few states here. Let’s just say the list above comprises the people I seem to keep running into? Ah, and what of a certain other state that’s big in the news and I undeniably have some experience with? Ah, well, enough written about them, lets just let the babus lie, shall we? 😉

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on February 6, 2008, in Gender Archetype, I'm An Indian Woman, Laws of Attraction, Men, men, men, On a lighter note.., The Dating Game, XXFactor series and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. Even if he is a software engineer in the U.S. with a pedigree and a state rank thrown in for good measure.

    I protest the insinuation that every Tamizhan is a software engineer with a state rank. For starters, some of us studied in Central Board schools. So we don’t have a state rank. Besides, some of us were only average students in school.

    Some Tamizhans even played cricket for India.

    But yes, thayir saadham rocks. What to do? We are like that wonly!

    Btw, what about the half mallu? Pray tell 😀

    One thing I can say about the half Mallu. They might be half wonly, but in terms of the fun quotient, they could be double. Pliss not to discount us.

  2. So you did talk about bangaluru boy in the first chapter :)..

    Just thought why not think about other way around

    Gujju bhen…One big advantage, she can be as much food loving as I am..
    Mallu women..sorry the infamous mallu movies have ruined it for me
    Tamilian..hmm intelligent, a little geeky, not much about them..
    punjabi princess… too tall, too loud mouthed, a little scary after the movie Jab We met.
    Bengali.. sweeter, but really talk loud… and talk so much..
    Marathi… no clues..:D

    hehhe just a humorous attempt..

  3. “On the other hand, these guys make for great, huggy-teddy-bear type buddies for girls like me”

    You hit this one right on the nail!
    What about the Telugu men – decent and shy men (non-Hyderabadi) who seem tongue-tied when faced with, horror of horrors, a walking, talking and thinking woman!

  4. Hahaha! Too many things do i have to say to this post.

  5. @ anantha: Not at all! This list isn’t comprehensive and I graciously accept your addition of the half-mallu. As for Tams who aren’t state rankers? Kadavallai….these are insults to the holy state of Tamizh Nadu!! I’ve been disowned several years ago on similar grounds so these fellas have my sympathies!

    @ Rambler: “Tamilian..hmm intelligent, a little geeky, not much about them..” Not much, huh? Have you forgotten the writer of this blog? 😀 And I don’t suppose you’ve ever met the Royal Bengal Tigress. These women can give Durga a run for her money.

    @ secretsouffle: Haha! Truth be told I considered it but dropped them from this post since I wasn’t sure if that was the common perception or just my wonky world view.

    @ Dreamcatcher: So start already!!! See my comment to Rambler above about the RBT!

  6. What a female chauvinist!!!

  7. Bengalis talk too loud, really? may be that’s the misconception built up by the unending rallies and seminars going on and on in Kolkata. the speakers on the dais are all Bengalis (of course) and they all have their microphone in front of them, What’s more, they speak without stopping, like that ‘breathless’ song of Shankar Mahadevan. Even we, the perma-resis of Kolkata are taken by awe where do they get their energy from!
    however, the average Bengali dude is quite different. He is a thinker more than a talker, a lover of solitude rather than a hip party lover, a reader than a dancer. And of course, “addabaaz” than a doer! 😉
    It takes more than an eye to look into a Bengali boy/ man, but since this is a fun post, everything goes!
    Loved it, Ideasmith!

  8. Well I dont exactly accept the views on Tamizhan, but your views are partially right.

  9. “MalluMan : For some weird reason, all the funny men I keep running into, turn out to have a lineage tracing back to ‘Gaad’s worrrn country’.”

    Thats was funny dude

  10. Mallu peopl always pride themselves for everything.

  11. @anon: Guilty as charged! 😀

    @ Dashu Pagla, vivekwwe: : It was a fun post. 🙂

    @ manga, tharun: the MalluMen are phunneeyer!

  12. I heared that Gujju people are too good and hilarious. Is it true. I hope no one takes this seriously.

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