Throwing the blame

The worst thing you can do to another human being is to kill them and make it look like suicide. Or hurt them and make them believe that it is their fault.

The Girl with a one-track mind shares a horrific experience and its aftermath.

He raped me throughout the night as I tried to sleep.

He called me a dirty whore, a cunt, a slag.

And when he saw my tears he told me, “You know you want to do it – you wouldn’t have come here otherwise.”

At the time I thought he was right. I had chosen to go back there: he hadn’t held a gun to my head. I hadn’t tried to fight him off me. It was my fault for being there, for letting him do that to me. I hated myself. Even when I was in the bathroom, using toilet paper to soak up the blood dripping between my legs, I blamed myself.

About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on December 26, 2007, in Bookmarked, Seriously speaking and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. you know this is something which I feel I haven’t grown up enough, I can’t seem to take the violence, nor read about it nor feel it.. especially when I am not able to come to terms with the non violent part of it

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