The Male Slut

Personally I loathe the ‘s’ word. I’m no prude but it is just derogatory. On the other hand, it conveys a certain devil-may-care, FO attitude, doesn’t it? Or more aptly ,a fuck-me-or-fuck-off attitude. Perfect. That’s this man alright. Can I attempt to define the Male Slut? Rather tough. Let me just describe him, I’m sure we’ve all known him.

In college I knew of a lecturer who was a cult across campuses. At the start of the year, I was told about him by a senior who added as an after-thought,

He’s an asshole. Expect to not learn anything.

I wasn’t in his class that term. But I did get a call from a friend from another college all breathy,

I’m in lurrrrrve. Ooooh, what a man!

I braced myself to hear about her latest campus conquest. And instead I got a earful about her professor. I figured she was just living out a popular student/teacher fantasy. Till I met the man himself.

My first thought was,

He looks like Billy Bunter!

But I noticed that the crowd in the hall hung on to his every word, the girls practically drooling and the guys…ah, well, we’ll get to that in awhile.

Next term, I was in the dude-professor’s class. Ah…like lycra, he definitely had it. It’s hard to define what he had. Charisma? Intelligence? Talent? Not quite..or perhaps a little of all of these. But most of all, was his ability to flirt with crowds and hold their attention like it was sexual interest. He performed for an audience that lusted for him. In a class, at a meeting of directors, as a judge to an event. He seduced his listeners, male and female, with his presence and it was always a performance that brought the house down. His insults seemed like deep words of praise while his verbal bouquets left people wondering where he was really sticking the knife into them. We loved him, we hated him but we all knew him. Sure he had his detractors but the best-loved artists have their critics, don’t they?

Which brings us to the concept of the Male Slut. A slut isn’t just someone who enjoys the attention of the opposite sex…everyone likes that. This is somebody who works with attention like it is a tangible thing. Think of a gymnast playing with a satin ribbon, tossing it, whirling it in, playing with it, seducing it, fighting with it, pulling it in. It’s a spectacular show. That’s what a slut does with attention.

A Male Slut isn’t quite a Bad Boy…that’s too brazen, too blatant and a little too risky for him. Male Sluts treat their women well; they are charming. They may leave behind a trail of broken hearts but rarely ever a resentful one. Affection is a source of attention and the Male Slut will ensure that it is a perennial one. Remember the friend who will always have dinner with her ex-, even go shopping with him for a gift for his new girlfriend and tell you that,

We were not meant to be together so we’re great friends now. I love him but as a friend!

Bingo. You’ve just had a conversation with one of his ex-es. And no doubting, there’ll be several of them. If a Bad Boy is a prima donna, the star of the show, the Male Slut is the director himself, the silent force behind the scenes, while the rest of the cast has no choice but to follow his dictat.

Male Sluts are intelligent and too practical to not milk it to the fullest extent. Is it a wonder then, that so many of them are successful people? Intelligence is used to get every single thing they want. Sucess, status, recognition, approval, attention. The Male Slut uses intelligence the way some women use mascara and plunging necklines.

What’s really remarkable is that the Male Slut is a man who has comfortably overcome (at least visibly) the common male fear of recognizable affinity to his own sex. This man seduces other men as well. Not necessarily sexually. But there is a certain electricity in his every word, every interaction that other men can sense as well. No wonder then, that a lot of men hate him. It’s resentment, it’s fear and a secret awe. Not that it stops the Male Slut from getting what he wants. The reason men hate him is that he gets what he wants inspite of them and that they let him have it, inspite of themselves.

Now there’s a fair bit of the Chameleon Boy (as Shreyasi, far politer than I, calls him) in the Male Slut. Why settle for one plate when the entire smorgasbord is yours? Then again, the Male Sluts I know are surprising people. They’re deeply committed to the stability of their life. They seem to have the Bad Boy‘s taste for spice but are sensible enough to keep their life antacid-like.

So surprisingly enough, you might find a discreet girlfriend or wife tucked away somewhere, a contrastingly ‘normal’ family life somewhere. Now the thing is, before aspiring to be a part of that life, bear in mind that the woman who lands this exotic bird is usually unaware of his colourful feathers and wings. Or appears to be so. And the Male Slut tries his best to keep things that way. I don’t know why that is the case, but it is so. I suppose a Male Slut is just a grown-up Bad Boy who’s shrewd enough not to burn ALL his bridges. But slutty nevertheless, partnered or not, the Male Slut is permanently married to attention. And he makes a devoted husband.

It reminds me, quite funnily, of the movie Irma la Douce. Who was the real slut in that story?

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on November 13, 2007, in Gender Archetype, Seriously speaking, Survival Guide and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Mr. Scarlett O’Hara??

  2. Whoa …another one of the classics from Ideasmith.
    I felt like the gymnasts’s ribbon reading this…….

  3. * Lol.. I think I know you are talking about. The Male Slut Prof. And the Billy Bunter pic confirmed it.

    But all in all.. he did have Charisma…. and the way he held the class, nobody has till date.

    And just to present the other side of the story – it is just that he never had time to actually “teach”. But when he did, boy! was he terrific! I remember him taking 2 classes where he explained a few methods and the LOGIC behind it.
    Damn! that was the day all of us fell in love with his subject. He could have been super – if he wanted to be.

  4. @ Sleepyhead: Ah…something like that perhaps.

    @ S: 😀

    @ greekalphabet: 😉 He already was, wasn’t he? I was one of his secret admirers!

  5. Wow… makes me wanna be a slut ! :p
    -ci

  6. Wow… well done. Very good article. Made me take a long hard look at myself and some of my own habits. (Sorry, am I male-slutting as I write this?)

  7. @ ci: :mrgreen:

    @ crimson_smear: 😎 That’s fine with us. We love Male Sluts!

  8. slowbutcatchingon

    I was married to a male slut. I didn’t know he was a slut until just before the divorce became final. He did not make a devoted husband at all. In fact he was the biggest asshole I have ever had the misfortune to meet. No doubt he treated his women very well, in fact any woman, except the one he was married to. The one woman who took care of him was the one woman to be on the receiving end of his greatest cruelty and insensitivity. Had I realized he was trying to seduce my “best friend” who was staying with me rather than developing a “friendship” I would have kicked them both out of my house long ago. Chalk it up to stupidty and trust. I hope he was unique but I know he’s not. He may be admired by many of you but I have totally lost all respect for him and his ilk. These male sluts have no respect for themselves or anyone else and their bravado is a cover for their extreme insecurity.

    • @slowbutcatchingon: It was very courageous and honest of you to share your story here. I’m sorry to hear about your experience. Honestly, I can only claim to have seen one side of the Male Slut story – the public face, which is, no doubt very charming. It didn’t occur to me that the Male Slut is as insensitive and cruel in private as his more openly caddish counterparts. I think you hit the nail on the head with your last statement. It is a difficult and often not fair experience for the women who are the partners of such men. I do hope that you have come out of that very nasty relationship and have recovered from something that could not have been your fault.

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