Aspirational manhood

When a good friend recently told me that he was gay, it did not come as a surprise. Indeed I concluded that my prayers had been answered in the form of someone who was already quite close to me. But even more, it was a moving moment since he chose to face the truth for the first time and it was in my presence…it takes courage to do that and I guess you’d think of a dear friend to hold your hand at that moment. I applaud my buddy and celebrate the fact that he finally breathes easy.

J.K.Rowling now reveals that one of the best-loved characters of the cult she created for this generation, is gay. Hmm. Now that’s fiction and the former, reality.

I also watched American Beauty last week…a movie that like a good book allows you to reflect on each character, situation and conversation ad infinitum and draw your own pearls of wisdom differently each time. And I wondered…why is it such an earth-shattering crime to be gay?

I get some clues in the book I’m reading that reminds me that,

Women come from a woman and carry on as an extension of the same person. No one tells a little girl to “Be a woman”. Men, on the other hand, have to learn to be men.

(not quoted verbatim but as I remember it)

We on the other hand, are just are born into femalehood automatically. The book is sub-titled ‘The triumph of love over rage”. I sympathise..much.

The most common argument I’ve heard against masculine homosexuality is that it is ‘disgusting’. Dig a little deeper and I get an explanation of how same sex unions can never result in progeny and hence are useless to evolution. My strongly masculine friends elaborate on how wonderful the female body is and express their utter revulsion of anyone who can enjoy the male body.

Of note, I don’t hear similarly vehement declarations from women about female homosexuality. And well, I’ve yet to come across a man with a bone to pick about lesbianism.

So, in the minds of most men, to not like a woman is the ultimate fall from masculinity. What an odd thought. The stronger sex defines itself by its relationship to the weaker sex…and not the other way round.

And finally, another male friend once told me that

Being a man is a highly over-rated job.

I conclude that…perhaps…he was right. Except I’d not call it a job as much as a sentence to a lifetime of judgement by others and yourself.

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on October 21, 2007, in Seriously speaking, Times, they are a-changing and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. what a co-incidence, I watched American Beauty last night..

    “The most common argument I’ve heard against masculine homosexuality is that it is ‘disgusting’. Dig a little deeper and I get an explanation of how same sex unions can never result in progeny and hence are useless to evolution. My strongly masculine friends elaborate on how wonderful the female body is and express their utter revulsion of anyone who can enjoy the male body.”

    actually this made me think my views on the subject, frank and honest I do not have any, .. I guess its normal to have different orientations when it comes to body.

    I am just wondering how their emotions would be, do they think differently?, or is it just the ill mouthed media, which is so hell bent upon showing them as the cross dressers with hots for muscles as seen in any typical movie.

  2. Ideasmith — In the same line as that last quote from your “[an-]other male friend”, have you seen the video “Tough Guise”? It’s on Youtube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3exzMPT4nGI Check it out; it’s quite an eye-opener. Especially for a guy.

    I’m quite firmly heterosexual myself, and I have to concur, there are few things I find as beautiful as a woman’s body. But I’ve found that I also can, and do, appreciate the beauty and attractiveness of a well-proportioned male body (which just happen to be far less common than the female counterpart). I just can’t imagine having a *sexual* encounter with another man, that’s all. It simply doesn’t compute.

    And re. male gayness vs. female lesbianism: I don’t think guys really care about the ethical/moral/scientific questions when it comes to the latter. All we see are female bodies getting orgasmic, and that’s all we care about. 😉

  3. @ Rambler: I wonder too. And know not enough.

    @ Jason: Cheers to a really honest comment!

  1. Pingback: The Male Slut « XX Factor

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