Three’s a mess…whose mess?
The newspapers have been spattering the gory story of Koushambi Layek across the city for the past few days. One of those newspapers ran a poll asking their readers,
Is it okay to have an affair with a married man?
Some of the responses amused me, some surprised me. Interestingly enough, few people talked about the morality of the thing….and thank goodness for that! There was the classic “He’s never going to leave his wife” refrain.
I suspect however, that if you ask a group of people randomly, in person they’ll actually tell you that this is a ‘wrong’ action. I keep hearing about how a woman should empathise with the plight of the other woman and not try to snatch her husband.
Hmm. I have to ask….what’s the man doing in all of this? Is he a non-thinking, absolved-of-all-responsibilities party in this mess? Who is the one in the committment and whose responsibility is it to live up to it? And finally, if the married person isn’t fulfiling his committment to his marriage, why should an outsider?
I realise this is a highly ruthless standpoint. I probably sound that I am, in effect, condoning cheating. I’m not. All I’m saying is that it isn’t cheating for the third person, the ‘other’ woman (or man as the case may be). The person who is cheating is the one who’s socially and legally committed to one person and having an affair with someone else.
That ought to be a simple enough distinction but apparantly its not. As for whether he’ll actually leave his wife or not, I don’t want to make a generalisation there. Love does happen in the strangest and sometimes most inappropriate of circumstances. That’s their cross to bear, too bad.
Of course if the guy’s been lying about being married, that’s a double-cross. Castrate the b@#$t@#d then, I say!