The premise of compromise

If there were ever a conflict between being yourself and making someone you loved happy, what would you choose?

The answer may seem obvious but it isn’t. For one thing, it is really quite difficult to stay cold and oblivious to the desires of the people we love. All of us do it – compromise on things that matter to us for the people who matter to us. After all, somewhere down the line, while you might stay true to yourself, is that life, life at all, without the people you love, in it?

Tere bina zindagi se koi shikva to nahin
Tere bina zindagi bhi lekin, zindagi to nahin

And yet, having said that, do they care about you enough if they want you to change so much that you don’t recognise yourself anymore? Perhaps they need you to. And if that be the case, will you?

Would you destroy yourself for the sake of a loved one? Or would you take the colourless life of someone who stands alone, touched by no one and also touching no one? 

How far would you go for someone you loved? When it comes down to it, is a relationship a test of your love or a determinant of your own rigidity?

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on May 20, 2007, in Relationships. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. At the end of the day, everybody is selfish, sacrifices are very hard to make specially while watching other person having best of times! Applies for both sexes though. To maintain the balance between sacrifice and selfishness is the key…the same one which i’ve always lost every time when needed….

  2. The tipping point for me is where you begin to forget what you yourself want to be and instead begin to internalize what the other wants you to be.

  3. Oh MY GOD!! I went through this dilemma for almost the whole of last year. And it killed me.
    It was quite literally choosing what I believed in (my ideals and truth) as versus a lonely life. Initially, I chose to compromise- But that WAS the harder way. I just could not live with myself. I hated myself for what I had done, had SOLD OUT for a relationship?
    That is again no longer worth it if it involves such extreme self-flagellation. I just could not forgive myself.
    Its about the most difficult thing to do in life.

    If you are honest and true to yourself, you just can’t do this. Can not give up all things you believe to be good and true and fair for the sake of love. You will never be able to love with it.

    Oh! I tried. I told myself that an empty bed by my side is worse. My ideals couldn’t keep me warm.
    Only it did NOT work.

  4. what is life without some struggle….and oftner that not we tend to believe that we are the only ones making an exception, doing a compromise. Ppl who love us wld be doing the same somewhere quitely.

    if we learn to see those and appreciate them, it will not be such a lonely battle or pointless struggle….

    It is easy to be stubborn, stay yourself, never grow to encompass ppl in our lives… but the earier way need not always be the best.
    and it surely ends only in lonliness….

  5. Isn’t it always for your own selfish needs, no matter what.

    I don’t think anyone has ever lived for anyone else. Every single deed is selfish – including a mother child relationship.

    If you choose to do it for the other person (or if you think so) – it is because you are too chicken to fight for what you want, or just scared to face emotional stress that comes along with it.

    If you choose to do it for yourself – you just aren’t being a hypocrite.

  6. Beautifully said-its a difficult choice….always…u can always love someone else as u love urself…but u love urself too dont u

  7. @ Everyone – Thank you. I was in doubt and I got my answer.

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