Ways to make a man mad

Someone recently commented that my grin had a glint of ‘undisguised evil glee’ in it. I’ve shown before that I have a touch of the devil in me and when it comes to men…tra la la la…that’s my favorite species of lab rat, daahling.

Here then are some ways to unnerve a man:

  1. Smile at him. Stare at him. This is most effective when the man is a stranger but also works if you already know him. Umm not if you are his girlfriend/wife but all other connections. Most people are quite nervous about being stared at, anyway, and men in general, aren’t as used to direct attention from the opposite sex.
  2. Express your appreciation of other women. No, don’t be a doormat and condone all his bird-watching, especially if you are his date. That’s sheer bad manners but a lot of men do it anyway and it’s a waste of time getting angry or pouting. But try matching him beat for beat on his evaluation of the woman. Here’s what generally happens: He’ll gape, then if he’s quick, he’ll decide to play the game for what it’s worth and join in the evaluation of a woman. And from there on, he’s totally lost because baby, no one can evaluate a woman more precisely, objectively and correctly than another woman. It’ll teach him to respect you when he realises you know far more about women than he does.
  3. Be mean. Be nice. Be catty. Be sweet. As a woman, you have a birthright to moodiness, considering the quantity of chemicals that naturally course through your body every month. Take advantage of that and befuddle him. Men just never have gotten used to the thought that moods change but a person doesn’t.
  4. Indulge in as much male-bashing as you can. Why do men never understand that the more you talk about something, the more is your interest in that subject? Or perhaps it’s the competitive instincts coming to fore. Most men I know bristle up at all my male-bashing and are too busy defending themselves to actively dislike me. Serves them right….all little boys have an excess of argumentative energy that needs to be channeled.
  5. Surprise him. In some way where he can’t tell whether you like him a lot or hate his guts. It works. Every single time.

And now having laid out my mad ways, I hasten to assure you that these are only ways to make a man mad, not a good way to get (or retain) a man. I have to say though, that they do attract a certain sort of man….the kind that spell their names with a capital T (for TROUBLE). Given my track record, you’re probably better off avoiding these, if you like most women are actually looking for a nice man to settle down with. On the other hand, if you enjoy tormenting them like I do, please drop me a note and we’ll have a nice catty cribbing session. Meow!

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on March 26, 2007, in Battle of the sexes, On a lighter note.., Survival Guide, The Dating Game. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. hey!!
    these are pretty interesting!
    I so agree with what you say @#1, which goes for most of everyone.
    that no1z really usued to be stared at.
    In fact , I would say , I have experianced people getting Rhhheally conscious..
    and not being stared at,,.. but generally, being warmly looked at in the eyes,
    I have noticed that people.. feel that they are being probed and feel Naked( mentally ofcourse)..
    ( hi there long time!!)

  2. OK… once mad what do you do with him?

    Sounds like quite an effort for nothing. Most women will end up driving guys nuts no matter what they do 😉

  3. I SO do love a male bashing ‘how to’ post.

    Heh.

  4. @ Abhishek: Absolutely! Which is why I think its a good ‘character-building exercise’ (quote-unquote Calvin’s dad) to understand what women are subjected to, everyday. 😀

    @ Sanjay: Yeah rightttttt…..

    @ Megha: We aim to please 😉

  5. 3 and 5 take the cake,baby!
    I love it 🙂

  6. @ Shreyasi: And we practise them with utmost dedication!!

    @ DC: Muhahahaha..

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