Reasons A Woman Should Stay Single

A guy I know, takes great pleasure in explaining to me, why he’s sooo thrilled to be a bachelor. According to him, if he were married, he’d have to put up with frequent calls from his wife complaining about the bai/her boss (depending on whether she’s a working wife or not), nagging and general discomfiture.

I have to point out that the above perception is based on his having to field calls from his boss’s wife who apparantly does all of the above. I’ve a good mind to sit his boss down and explain to him the damaging effects that his distatrous desicion (to get married) is having on impressionable young children. Uh…well, friend in question happens to be older than I am, but what the hell, he’s a man…do they ever grow up???

Frankly I am sick and tired of men who crib about the woes of marriage…..I mean most marriages happen because the guy proposed!!! Why do men pursue a women they don’t want after all? Oh well, as I observe, having two heads ought to make you twice as smart, not twice as confused and duhhhhh….

But anyway, who says men listen? The only way to get them to is to speak their language. And keep saying it again and again.

Hence, here goes the top reasons I am happy to be single (yeah, well that’s one hell of a thing to say on V-day but bash on regardless…)

1. I can wear floral skirts and knee-high boots to work and not have to put up with insinuations of how frivolous my job must be. My sense of self-worth, my ego and my value is not under scrutiny or at least subject to any kind of judgement by another person. My experience tells me that any thoughts a woman receives on this from a man whom she’s romantically/sexually involved with is flawed and should be thrown into the dustbin. Women rarely do that though…we tend to care about the opinion of the person we are with and hence ah, I’m saved the catastrophe of having to live with someone else’s screwed-up analysis of me.

2. I can flirt, ogle, lech, fight with, date and generally have fun with whoever I want, whenever I want and however I want. Consider this point in the perspective that I am in my 20s, reasonably attractive, friendly and fun. Put that together with the fact that there seem to be more single men in this demographic than women and tell me if I have an advantage or not?

3. I get wooed, seduced, gifted nice things, poetry written about me and compliments showered. Instead of trouble with in-laws, household maintenance and a bored husband. To quote who was it (?) Mae West perhaps… Katharine Hepburn said, “Why trade in the admiration of a 1000 men for the indifference of one?” Why indeed?

4. Men make an effort for me. They want to look good, sound intelligent and act ‘well’. They even try to impress my family and friends. I don’t have to put up with in-law jokes or a balding, podgy man who wants to believe he’s 21 and needs me to pamper him when he doesn’t feel it.

5. I can read, write, sing, paint, dance, sleep, work, meet my friends, watch movies I want to see alone if I want, travel, attend weddings and family functions, go for concerts. Instead of arranging my schedule around a workaholic husband, instead of sitting around looking pretty for a late-but-protective boyfriend, instead of entertaining an anti-social (okay, not-as-friendly) partner. I have a full life with a lot of people and interests and things to do and I can have all of them in it. Instead of one not-so-fulfiling person who makes my world have to revolve around him.

Having written this post I realise greatly reduces my chances of finding a ‘good man’ (if such a creature exists). I’ve said I’m not a man-hating feminist and I stand by that. I am however, not willing to put up with any less than I think I deserve…especially when the man wants Ms.Perfect. If this sends of the impression that I don’t need a man….well, who needs men like this? I so don’t.

So there!

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on February 14, 2007, in Battle of the sexes, Ex-factor, Relationships, Survival Guide, Times, they are a-changing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 26 Comments.

  1. Evenstar and I have a bet goin’ on; it’s about you! I think, I’ll win. Don’t bother asking her, she wouldn’t remember! 🙂

  2. Here’s to being single and fabulous! When you love yourself, people can’t help but love you too.. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve! and Happy Valentines 🙂

  3. The greatest love of all, as Whitney Houston once sang, is learning to love yourself.

    Stay single!

  4. Your reasons are all wrong, you know.

  5. or is it commitment phobia which normally guys suffer?

  6. @ Ranjan: That above all things. Though you don’t have to stay single to love yourself. It is easier though, I admit.

    @ Ninja: Are they? What about your reasons for wanting a woman?

    @ Sherriff: That then, is their problem.

  7. fun post, but i have a problem with your usage of the phrase “man-hating feminist”. feminism is not about hating men…

  8. Haha!!

    Well said! 🙂

  9. @ sudha: Point taken. I was quoting the common stereotype imposed on me, verbatim. But this is a silly post and not meant to be taken too seriously.

    @ Jason: 😀 Thengyu!

  10. Self love is the greatest love!! ha ha…

  11. @ Harish: I shudder to think of what you mean. Raam, raam, the evil people in this world! 😉

  12. Women are insane.

    This article was obviously written by an insane woman.

    Guys don’t get married, or you will be going to hell sooner than you think.

    I’d like to answer this question:

    I mean most marriages happen because the guy proposes!!! Why do men pursue a women they don’t want after all?

    With my answer:

    Only stupid guys propose.

  13. Sounds pretty sane to me. Well said, at least you know what you want. There are a lot of people who choose to live confused without any question.

  14. @ Stu: Thanks for the reply. And since blatant, semi-rude generalisations make me insane, the same applies to you. And thank you for visiting.

    @ Reem: 🙂 And happily there are enough of people who want to live with insanity as well, it would seem!

  15. BEST.POST.EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

  16. I Love this!! BRILLIANT!! Im so sick of guys who want everything so perfect. Selfish idiots!

  17. I love your reason #5 the best 🙂

  18. I think men and women are very much alike. I mean even the phrase “Why trade in the admiration of a 1000 men for the indifference of one?” Can’t you say the same thing replacing “men” for “women”? When you first meet a guy or a girl there is that special excitement, which goes away when you notice different flaws, which you haven’t seen before. Both men and women become “boring”. “Men make an effort for me. They want to look good, sound intelligent and act ‘well’.” Don’t women do absolutely same things???
    Also if you are in your 20’s, of course you get special attention from men… What happens in your 30’s, 40’s? Would you say same things when you are not as attractive as you used to be? What about if all of your friends got families and there is absolutely no one who can spend Friday night with you? Would you be as proud about being single?
    Besides when you have a boyfriend you still can have girls night out. Not all guys like to stay at home, or are boring, you just haven’t found the right one yet.

  19. Why do guys propose to women? Why do guys want to get married? It’s because they love the woman that they are with, and want to stay with her forever and ever and ever and ….

    Unfortunately, the newlywed bliss comes to an end after a year or so. This is because BOTH of them change. They BOTH realize that they no longer have to *work* for the attentions of their significant other. They get lazy.

    Most men that I know who regret getting married blame it on the lack of sex. This is usually because after about a year, the woman realizes she no longer has to put out to keep him around, the ring around his finger does that (as well as the 50/50 possession split in a divorce).

    If BOTH people work towards keeping the other person interested, marriage would not be such a bad word!

    http://watercooler.wordpress.com/2009/07/26/choose-music-or-sex/

  20. very well said 🙂

  21. I agree and would want to stay single. Men are all the same. They can never be 100% faithful to you. They will definitely break your heart somehow someday. Women have to accept reasons such as men are physical animal thats why they look at other women thats why they cheat or unfaithful. Just because we are born women. We have to accept a cheated husband for the sake of child. I would rather Stay single and have plenty of boyfriend. Zero commitment. No expectation frm them. No drama. No heart breaks

  22. Hey! I have been following your blog for really long, first out of Mumbai and then from a different country where I have moved to. I have always loved your writing. For some reason, I feel like the on-your-face spirit in what you put down has come down. This post and a couple of others are so full of ‘there you go, on-your-face’ kind of a thing. And so eloquent.
    But now, I feel like a bit of melancholy has replaced all the angsty huff and puff. May be tthat’s just natural personality growth, but just wanted to express my humble opinion.

    Your writing is still so great! And I love the effort to keep the blog (this and ideasmithy) alive, amidst all the here-today-not-there-tomo blogs!!!

    Keep rocking woman 😀

  23. Thanks a lot for taking some time in order to create “Reasons
    a woman should stay single XX Factor”. Thank you so
    much again -Katharina

  24. Love this post. By the way, on reason #3, it was Katharine Hepburn who said: “If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.”

  1. Pingback: The Voice In My Head… » Blog Archive » Am baaack!!!

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