Missing Mr.Imperfect

Today’s paper says that Daniel Craig may be James Bond but he still can’t park his car right. It made me breathe smoke for awhile. Okay, okay don’t say it, a lot of things make me breathe smoke, my dragon is only representative of me.

Rebel without a cause and the voice of the underdog that I am, I have to say, why don’t people leave the poor guy alone? Personally I think becoming the smooth, slick 007 may be the worse thing for him altogether. His charm comes from his ‘so-very-unfinishedness’.

Someone recently explained to me that not all men desired perfection in a woman. I must turn around and say now that some women echo that sentiment too. I am one of them.

Personally I am sick and tired, fed up, fed up, FED UP of a certain kind of man. We’ve all met the type, smooth-talking, polished, well-turned out(not well-manicured…that would be just dandy), articulate and confident. Remember the advertisement for Raymonds’ suitings?

The Complete man

I used to love that ad…the perfect father, perfect son, perfect lover, perfect friend, perfect pupil, perfect teacher…indeed the perfect man. I don’t anymore.

Mr.Perfect comes with a smooth vinyl coating that gives him a sheen akin to the inmates of Madame Tussad’s. Who wants to live with a mannequin? Certainly not me.

Let’s talk about what I have against Mr.Mannequin.

  • I have a problem with the fact that he can converse on a range of topics. I appreciate intelligence but this is a man who elucidates facts but doesn’t share opinions. He doesn’t have one.
  • I loathe his charm, I abhor it, I really really REALLY think there should be a law against misuse and overuse of charm. I’m drowning in a sea of compliments, breaking my bones skidding over the sliminess of sweet talk and getting suffocated in the sweet, whipped cream of boyish-cute-you-just-have-t0-love-me-ness. People like people for themselves. They may be taken in by charm but that’s fleeting, what lasts is impressions of how the other person is, with them, with others and with himself/herself.
  • Of course the smooth moves include a vast repertoire of knowledge on wine, fine dining, haute couture, world travel and poetry. It takes effort and practice for a man to get there, but you know what? It’s not worth it!!! There are women who’ll fall for it (and I have only too often!) but it won’t last. You won’t be able to keep up the facade and she’ll move on to shinier, sparklier men or she’ll start to dim in your eyes. Whatever happened to good old “Love you just the way you are”? It’s gotten lost in the brilliance but some of us are still looking for it.
  • Flashiness was never in, unless it was unconscious. Class is simply contrived ritual unless it’s attitudnal. A Rolex might scream attention, an Omega might smirk money and a may be the King of Understated Style. Who gives a damn? As I see it, I see a man who’s spent a fat lot of money on a nice-looking piece of metal and leather that tells the time. Thank you very much but my cellphone, computer and Titan watch do that too. I really don’t need to know the time that badly. And if I do, any of these things do the job just as well. But why listen to me, who’ll believe that I’m more impressed by a man who doesn’t need to tell me who he is. Women like mystery too, you know and I’m intrigued by a man who will let me discover him for myself and not throw it in my face with brands.
  • Chivalry. Ah, I’ve written about this. Mr.Mannequin will open the door for me. But you know something? My office doorman does that too. I’m perfectly capable of opening a door. I don’t mind if you do it. But don’t expect me to think highly of you because of it. Especially after I see that you aren’t doing the same thing for the senior citizen behind you or that little kid who ran past. Real chivalry is respect for other people, regardless of gender, age or dateability.

Daniel Craig faced a lot of flak for not being 007. True, I agree he wasn’t very close to the suave, slick “My name is Bond. James Bond.” But you know something, a bartender who asks me if I want my drink shaken or stirred, when I haven’t asked for either will make me wonder “Why the f$#@ would I care and if I did, wouldn’t I tell him?” I don’t give a damn and I respect a man who says so.

The day Daniel Craig turns into James Bond will be the day he loses how special he is. He’ll be just another good-looking, smooth-talking cad. And what’s so special about that? This is a world filled with bright lights and sparkly masks hiding empty people.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Update: Peeyush has replied to this with a post of his own.

It’s unfashionable to be cliched but I’m not fashionable anyway. All I have to say is

All that glitters isn’t gold

I don’t even like yellow, shiny bling. But lots of women do, I suppose. They can keep the Mr.Perfects. I’ll continue my solitary search.

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on February 8, 2007, in Battle of the sexes, Media Messages, The Dating Game, Times, they are a-changing. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. I’ve actually not met such a man. So when you ladies meet one, he’s probably faking it 🙂

    Bond is far from perfect. His charming yes, but you notice that he’s only with someone for a few minutes before he kills them or sleeps with them. So he doesn’t actually have to be charming on day 2.

    He knows jack shit about wines, really. I mean, you dont actually have to shake or stir too many wines 🙂

    Yea, he has a nice watch and a very nice car. But there isn’t a man in the world that wouldn’t want those if her majesty was paying for them 🙂

  2. Phew…Thank Goodness, I don’t wear a watch, otherwise I would have thought you were talkin’ about me 😛 😛

  3. @ Urban Bourbon Ninja: Hmm true, this man only comes out in the open when there are women around. And I was saying…women, watch out for this man, he isn’t worth your time and effort. And men, stop trying to become him, you’re much better off being yourselves. *Sigh* But who listens to me?

    @ Brad: Yeah righttttt……

  4. Rosie Powell

    I LOVED your post. Really! I do. I have this great fear that Craig’s Bond will actually turn into “Mr. Perfect Guy/Spy” by his third movie. God, I hope that does not happen.

  1. Pingback: The hat-trick of dating « XX Factor

  2. Pingback: Bond Girl » Blog Archive » Mr. Imperfect

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