Girl talk

I went out with two women friends this weekend. As Dee who called me several times during the day put it, “Spent a lot of money? Bitched a lot about men?” Yes, yes, yes we did. For anyone who wonders what three women talk about….baaah…I hate the fact that three supposedly intelligent, attractive, single women meet and spend so much time talking about men! On the other hand, like the book I’m reading observes, women do talk about men, sometimes disparagingly but with a certain fondness. And who says two women (or even three) can’t stand each other? I had a rocking time! Read on for more…(I know I’m going back on what I said here, by spilling the secrets but…well, what the hell?)

The ‘Do not love me because I’m beautiful’ business

I wish I had your figure!

I wish I had your skin!

I wish I had your hair!

Yeah, if one of us had all three of this, she’d be every man’s dream

Arrrgghh…who gives a damn…who are these lousy men to dictate what we look like anyway?

A question of questionable taste

I remember the last blind date that you set me up for! He looked like he’d just stepped out of a facial, manicure, hair styling and personalized fashion session. I on the other hand was toting a jhola and walking around in flat-pancake sandals. I don’t like men who are so polished, I feel like I’m talking to a uniform, not a person.

Well, I don’t like the guy to look like a slob. I know I’m looking good, why shouldn’t he put in the effort too?

I didn’t say I liked slobs either. But not THIS much effort! I think I noticed my last boyfriend because of his dress sense. He was wearing red pants when I first saw him and I thought, “Oh wow, that takes some attitude to carry off!” And on our first date, he was wearing a tee-shirt and jeans and sneakers. And so was I. I felt comfortable talking to him and suggesting such silly things like a walk on the beach in the hot noonday sun. I wouldn’t have been able to do that with the other guy…I’d have been too intimidated and busy feeling like naughty little child.

*Rolling eyes*

Oh well, maybe its a good thing that the two of us never like the same guy.

Yes, ma’am…I, unlike you, do not have such questionable taste!

:p You’re just saying that because you didn’t like the guy in question.

Well I don’t like any of your boyfriends.

Why?

Because they are your boyfriends!

The eligible batchelor fantasy

I’m getting tired of this arranged marriage business.

Then give it up, na!

Can’t…you know what the pressure gets to be

Yeah I know…but I’m having fun with it now. First 20 years my parents try keeping me away from everything male and now they’re pushing them right into my life..my inbox, my message box, my mail and my calendar!

Arre…the other day I met a guy and he brought his mother along!

And I met one guy who said he liked shopping, especially for deodorants

Hmph….give it up, you’re never going to find a normal guy, there aren’t any!

That’s not true, I’ve been meeting loads of them

Yeah….where ever do you find them? You seem to have an unending stream of boyfriends

Blog! Party! Join the onliine networks! Make friends! They’re bound to have friends.

Well…I don’t subscribe to that point of view. None of your relationships have lasted.

Yes, that’s true, none of them were the ‘settling down’ type.

Well, I only want a man who wants to settle down.

I wish you luck then. You can either have interesting, ‘normal’ men or you can have the abnormal ones who actually do want to settle down.

I don’t think so.

Well, I hope not too, actually.

And I think you’re selling yourself short.

Yes, sometimes I think so too but other times I tell myself I’m just being realistic. Consider, I’m getting better, now!

How????

See, I started off with neglectful, graduated to abusive and now I’m doing the non-committal route. I’m getting to understand men 🙂

Yeah, you get to know all the ways a man can be a jerk!

They all are!!!

The ‘Which-friend-ditching-situation-is-worse’ question:

She’s my best friend, my voice of reason, my rock of Gibralter

Haan, haan….best friend, my foot, the last time I was sick you were out with your boyfriend!

Arre…c’mon…we were meeting only on weekends.

Boyfriend more important that best friend, now?

Hmph…you should talk, you promised me a girl’s day out today and you had to run off to meet some guy you’ve never met, whom you don’t even like the sound off!

Well….you know I just had to, didn’t you?

Yeah, I do. But are you meeting him again?

I don’t know. His father wanted to know what clothes I wear.

Did you tell him…bikinis and shorts.

*dirty look* Hmph….we said salwar-kameezes and trousers to work.

I don’t believe this…you actually answered that?

Yeah….and then he wanted to know what I wear at home!!!

@#%$&%$

*disapproving look* I thought of saying….saree with a ghoonghat.

I never have that problem. According to my family, I’m a Mumbai girl and that means I’m wanton, reckless, possibly lesbian and likely to kick my ageing parents out into the street any day now, so I can move my useless, pot-smoking boyfriends in!

Well you probably will, you know….you don’t even care for your best friend.

*Sour look*

That look doesn’t work with me, lady. I’m a Scorpio…I never forget.

Doesn’t work with me either….:-D

Yeah…it might work on some stupid man!!!

It should work on the types that pretend they know palmistry so that they can hold your hand…..or at least its catching their bluff!

The ‘same time next year’ promise

I’ll tell you what…let’s meet a year from now and discuss our husbands.

Do you suppose all three of us will be married in a year’s time? Somehow I doubt it….look at the men the two of you have met and the ones I’ve dated….none of them marriageable!

Yeah….

Let’s just get together and bitch then!

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on November 6, 2006, in On a lighter note.. and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. How I wish I had your company on my lonesome shopping disaster!!! heeheheh!

  2. @ ratz: Yeah, gurl….you’d have loved it!

  3. Ratz is a girl??:O I thought ‘ratz’ was like ‘AntZ’; male, happy and gay! Tch..tch..

  4. Girl talk panacea well not always but well you get a load off your back. Granted we do obsess, dissect and analyse exactly why he said that thing he did at 7 last evening. But its fun and refreshing. I can’t think of anything more revitalizing. Lovely post Smithy. So relate to it.

  5. haha, that made for a good read 🙂 I miss my friends! *siiiiiiiiiiiigh*

  6. Er, I really didn’t follow who was saying what. Oh but, is that the idea? Hmmmm…

    (And oh, the Devil sent me here. Thank her, will you? Or is the Devil a he. Damn, that’s what’s wrong with all this anon/pseudo-anon identities!)

  7. And ho, thanks for all the praise (Rare speciMEN – ahaha – nice word play)

  8. I may not be allowed here, but let me take a chance and say I found your post very entertaining and a rich source of research material. Thanks for sharing. By the way, I found my way here by dropping in on the Fastest Growing Blogs list. So it may interest you to know you’ve made the list today. Here’s the link as of 10AM Eastern US time. http://botd.wordpress.com/growing-blogs/
    You must be doing something right!
    (Follow the link quickly, though. The list is updated every 6 hours.)

  9. @ Brad: LOL…Ratz isn’t just a girl, she’s a real lady!

    @ DC: Actually it reminded me of some of your posts after I finished writing it! 😀

    @ Shub: Ah…I miss the ones not in my city too!

    @ Ravages: Thenk yew…and I’ll remember to thank the Devil too.

    @ Davidbale: That’s REAAALLLLY great news! I admit it really boosts my ego…while my hits seem to be dropping.

  10. @Smithy: Thank you for coming to my rescue O Knight in shinning armour!!!teeheehee!

    @Brad: I am happy and female…why does that disappoint you so???? But this is a first I must admit!

  11. @Ratz: Nopes, whatever gives you the idea that I would be disappointed! I gave my reasoning as well previously, AntZ, RatZ. 🙂 Kinda corny, admittedly. If I were to be disappointed, it would probably be at my Sherlock skills, but they have been waning due to lack of any exercise!

  12. Hey!

    That was just the kind we end up talking when my group of girls meet up. The issues of arranged marriage, trying to find a normal guy who would be interested in long term….

    Am I frustrated with these things? Well… the answer is pretty evident.

    Anyways do keep us posted to whatever happens 🙂 and yes… a really good post.

  13. figure!skin!hair!

    You pretty much got everything there didnt ya? I

  14. @ Manasa: LOL, thanks! I posted it partly to remember what rollicking fun such conversations can be!

    @ Starry: Thengyu!

    @ Addict: Ah, well…errr…umm… :p

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