Does anyone know what the best ‘ex’ policy is? I admire…no, I am deeply envious of those enlightened souls who are ‘great friends’ with their exes. They’ve obviously got it all figured out just great and I haven’t reached my Bodhi tree as yet. I am struggling, as yet in vain, to define just how to deal with that increasing species called ex-boyfriends. (Here and here are some previous attempts)
My trouble these days seems to be too-fast exes rather than just too-many! Well…that too but mostly I’m alarmed now by the rising conversion rate of boyfriend/consistent date to ex. I was born finicky but I seem to have just turned fussy now. Hence, having concluded that men in general, have only one head that can actually be put to any use, my super-high standards of dating are crumbling. But after awhile, I can’t pretend my interest remains nor that my patience stays constant.
Which brings us to the issue of the ever so sensitive, ex-policy. Now a guy I recently dated said that he was great friends with all his exes. I retorted, “well, you don’t know me as yet.”…ah, I was being peevish but I don’t like being clubbed into one junta-group like that. Then I said, “I have a different equation with each person I’ve dated and that’s because I was a different person with of them.”
Which is all very fine, but each one takes up even more effort than the relationship/dating schedules did. For starters we have the relationship issues, differences and incompatibility in the starring roles of BIG HURDLES to being friends. Spice that liberally with any fights, verbal arrows that would have been thrown and you have a masaledaar creation that’s not going down with any amount of antacid. Okay, fine, some people have amicable break-ups. Everyone isn’t a melodrama queen like me, perhaps (oh, but how??). Then we get to how to face someone who’s seen a side of you that the rest of the world doesn’t?
I think my biggest shame in meeting the ex-love of my life was the memory of an extremely sappy (and scorching) love letter I had written to him on his birthday….which of course he refused to return or destroy….gave me a good enough reason to let me go of him at least and there you are. (But oh how mortifying!!! I hope I never see him again….)
Then there are the more obvious and twenty times more mortifying incidents. I had a day that started off just fine till I bumped into someone I’d ‘politely declined’ after a few weeks. Which is fine, since we hadn’t discussed it too much since then. And then he remarked that I must have had a rocking weekend. I wondered what he was on about till I realized in the rush to get out of the house, I hadn’t had a proper stab at my make-up as yet. If he’d been a part of the Master card ad, it probably would have read
Weekend alone spent on DVDs: 700
Getting there early: 1000
New shoes after losing old ones trudging through mud on a rainy day: 3000
Spotting the hickey before she does: PRICELESS
I so much wish I could have wiped that smirk off his face. Well….then again…
Knowing who was really responsible and it certainly wasn’t YOU!!!”: ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS
Smirk smirk….I think I’ll stick to being the catty ex.