The Best Kind Of Guy Friend

You know who the best kind of guy friend is?

You can admit to being madly attracted to him and he’ll look at you in the eye and tell you the truth if he is not. And after that, he won’t stop taking your calls or meeting you.

You can confess undying love to him and he won’t sleep with you unless he reciprocates.

If another guy breaks your heart, he won’t mash him to pulp but would consider it if you asked him to. And he definitely won’t bond with that guy no matter how many interests (and ex-girlfriends) they share!!!!

He can call you whiny, drippy, weedy, dependent, clingy and over-emotional but NEVER when you’re actually crying.

He’s willing to be your date when you’re stuck or stood up but won’t feel too bad if your boyfriend shows up again and you decide to go with him (again!).

He’s quiet. Or talkative. Charming. Or devilish. Thoughtful. Or forgetful.But he doesn’t change his treatment of you depending on the stage in your relationship.

He doesn’t dangle girlfriends or admirers under your nose all the time.

He doesn’t have a girlfriend…or better still, is gay!

He’s a guy but he actually cares about what you feel. All in all, he treats you like a buddy but remembers you’re a girl.

Now that’s a guy really worth having as a friend. Ladies, do you suppose such men exist? Men, shut up, I don’t believe you.


*A later version of this post appears here. A version is also posted to Yahoo! Real Beauty.

About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on September 7, 2006, in Battle of the sexes, On a lighter note.., Survival Guide and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 40 Comments.

  1. For a second there I thought you had a guy friend like that.. and I was muttering, “lucky you, Ideasmithy. And then came the last few lines and wham!!!
    I have two guy friends who come half way(from different ends), but that doesn’t make it a whole 😦

  2. LOL….actually pragni, I have a whole lot of guy friends but they fall short on at least one of the above. They’re not perfect…but well…they’re men after all!

  3. You are obviously ‘not’ looking properly! Other than not being gay, I was about to ask you to ‘shut up’; but…there is one thing!

    In the recent past, Carlyle confessed undying love to me (for me). And I told her that I feel bad that I do not harbor any such feelings for her. She was of course a tad sad, but was happy to know that I didn’t have any intentions of snipping our thread of friendship. Everything was cool, but as time progressed, I felt bad that her feelings have not taken a backseat nor have they diminished or vanished. They still exist. And since Carlyle knows that I am ‘ok’ with knowing that she loves me, she continues to be in a ‘hoping’ phase, hoping that things will change. On the other hand, I am worried for her, as she is not making any effort to look for a boyfriend or date anybody else. If I talk about the girl whom I have a crush on, or the one whom I am seeing, she gets annoyed. After much deliberation, I decided to shorten my conversations with her, and space out my interactions with her. I get all sorts of senti-emails from her. I am worried for her. Dear Agony Aunt, please advise. 😛

  4. Brad: Good job….you are my hope for mankind!! But seriously, doesn’t it flatter you at leas a wee bit that a girl is so hung on you? Okay, sniping aside, keep doing what you’re doing. I think its perfectly alright to have someone moon over you and its equally fine to be soppy over someone who doesn’t feel the same. Just so everyone concerned knows the score and takes responsibility for their feelings and actions. (Gaad…I hope that works for other people…it sure does for me!)

  5. Why would it flatter me? :-/

  6. errr i was thinking good grief she is one black magic woman – she has a best friend like that. Nice to know you’re human and all. And men like that, if he was so perfect why not date him….

  7. You mean that actually works for you??From what I know, they just satart clinging more!!

    Brad:I thought only guys were those sentimental slobs who keep hoping and trying to make the person opposite fall in Lurrveee.. You opened my eyes!! 🙂

  8. DC: Well no…once you date the guy, he turns into a louse…or a typical man after all.

    Pragni: Clinging can be managed I think…all it needs is a good sensible talk. And don’t listen to Brad….like the last line in my post I don’t believe him!!!

  9. i think i have 2 such friends. but oen is gay so he does not count i guess 🙂

  10. I think they do 🙂 And I love that they do :))

  11. Sravanthi: Oh he does, he does!!! You’ll NEVER have anything to worry about with him.

    Menagerie: ?? I’m a little lost with all these comment conversations. Now was that a response to the post (and what part of it?) or one of the comments (which one?)?

  12. @ideasmith: Menagerie thinks that such men exist and that she loves that they do exist. It was an answer to your question in the last paragraph! And don’t prevaricate Pragni with your thoughts! Grrr…

  13. Hmm, thanks Brad for speaking for me! Seems, you did get it…

    Idea, was referring to your post 🙂

  14. Brad: Errrrrmmm….I’m prone to bouts of blankness. Call it natural balancing (since I’m a bloody genius the rest of the time!!!)

    Menagerie: Rap him on the knuckles for speaking out of turn! (and making me feel verrreee stoopid!)

  15. Hi Ideasmith!

    When I read your post I thought you have one person like that and moreover I was amazed with your timing.

    Coz, I have one guy EXACTLY like that in my life. I adore him, respect him and love him. He is there for me, for bringing in the rationale for any thing that matters. Thinks about my life from my perspective for me. We’ve realised thzt as a couple we do not have a future, but then am proud to say, he is my best friend.

    My only hope that it remains so always.

    Frankly, was shocked that you should come up with something soo starkingly similar and also just when his importance was reinforced in my life at this time.

  16. Manasa: 🙂 Truth be told, I do have several good guy friends. The attraction factor does complicate things but overall I do have some guy friends I’m quite thankful for. Its good to have someone from the opposite sex you can relate to and yet not feel the compulsion to get into a romantic/sexual relationship with. Great going!

  17. Damn, I don’t even know Manasa…and yet…

  18. Hmmm. What can I say? I am all but gay.

  19. @ Ravages: Ahh….see the last line of my post. 😦

  20. Such men would always have girlfriends, who would have moved on and be just girls and friends. May you find none such. Amen.

    The problem these men face, is this. All women they know what to go out with them, but none actually want to see them. Bah.

  21. @Peeyush: Could you elaborate, please…on both counts!

  22. @ Peeyush: Not if they were gay. Them apart, everyone else I know has had zillions of girlfriends and are ‘very good friends’ with all of them…baaaah! Now pray explain what you mean by ‘want to go out with them but not see them’?

  23. Interesting post. At the risk of sounding outrageously flirtatious, you make me want to be a better man 🙂

  24. @ Sowji: :-). We is very flattered!

  25. Your post made me…kinda sad actually, considering I have verry few guy friends, don’t ask me why…but I have always felt that gay men would be much better best friend material…

    If I knew a guy like that, though, I would SERIOUSLY be hoping he wasn’t gay…though that’s probably a bad thing, because it would be so easy to fall in love with him…but you never know, there’s always the possibility that he could end up lovingn you too, right? Or would he no longer conform to the description in your post…? I’m just confusing myself…haa.

  26. @ realperson: It is an eternal dilemma but I’ve decided now that I need to keep my friends seperate and immune to my ‘falling in love’ tendency. I believe love is fleeting but friendship is for keeps. Trouble is I haven’t even found a man like the one I’ve described! 🙂

  27. I had one. He became my boyfriend. Then my ex. Now he is a friend, who is awesome but gets a little crabby when i mention any other love interest. Problem is, he is not where I am – which makes crying on his shoulder a little difficult.

    Damn i need to find another boy like that 😦
    Nice Post. Made me sad.

  28. I am a good guy friend.
    a straight version.

    very good observations in your post.

    got here by way of wiseling…and was pleased to see Spaz

  29. @ spazsim: I’m sorry to hear that. But he must be one exceptional man if even this is possible. As you can tell, I don’t have a very high opinion of men in general.

    @ jerrester: And thank you for coming by! 🙂

  30. Heyy, am linking this post (but you already know that! :P)
    I really liked it…I have just the guy in my life 🙂

  31. erm, sorry for not asking you BEFORE linking…I will, next time.

  32. @ TG: I’d seen the post and forgotten about it when I visited your blog a day back. And umm…thanks for the link!

  33. I HAVE a guy friend like that !!!!! i swear , he’s my best friend , and he’s straight . He always knows what to say to make me feel better , and he’s the one i call for advice or when i’m upset . I love him !!!!

  34. @ Crystal: Some women have all the luck….*sigh*…while the rest of us make do with the typical human male.

  35. Am I really doing it- Peeyush r u listening……when I read this post- the first and the only name that came to my mind is YOU….No I know u r not a gay nor am I madly attracted to you- but i can imagine ur reaction if ever I tell u that- you would chide me on my bad taste 🙂

    Idea-Make him read this- I might change my mind abt posting this any moment:)


  37. “He doesn’t have a girlfriend…or better still, is gay!” 👿

    i don’t agree with this line its not true, rest is good.. 😛

    • @Intraday Tips: Heh, it was written in jest. With a gay guy, there’s no worrying whether he really likes you or just wants to get into your pants and then buzz off.

  1. Pingback: Shoulder to cry on: Men keep out! « XX Factor

  2. Pingback: The Best Kind Of Guy Friend « XX Factor

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