Men are like waves

Eligible men seem to come in waves.

I missed the first wave, which was in the early twenties. Those were the ones who got married because they were in love, because they eternally and everlastingly adored the object of their affections. The next wave would appear to be the late twenties full of restless people who’ve spent the earlier part of their lives working hard and playing hard. And now just like everything else in their smartly planned lives, the need for companionship has to be tackled next.

I guess both sexes do it, women less than men but the numbers are increasing. I’m part of this second wave. I’m not anti-marriage as my family fears. I just don’t want to get married ‘because everyone else is’. For gawdssakes, I stopped following fashion when I was 15! On the other hand, I don’t have any rose-tinted glasses notions about marriage. I am not looking for that Price Charming who’ll take care of me and sweep me off to Wonderland. Not for me, I’d like to have my feet on terra firma at all times, thank you very much. It is a practical desicion, plain and simple. I don’t want to be a social anomaly, being forced to prove that ‘my way is alright too’. Make no mistakes, singledom is tolerated as a fleeting phase in one’s youth at best, definitely not a permanant state to be. And this goes for both sexes.

Now the trouble is that desicions taken later are tempered with the ‘wisdom’ of the years but also burdened by the fears of those very same years. I’m a little sick of meeting great guys, intelligent guys, good-looking guys, smart guys who want ‘fun but no strings attached’. Most of them have been in long relationships which didn’t work. Several of them have survived being cheated upon, being dumped, two-timed, harassed. Well, so have I. Not to say that I’m really welcoming love and the red hearts with open arms. I have my fears to overcome. I just can’t be fighting someone else’s fears as well.

My biggest grouse with the male sense of humour is PMS jokes. The drive-you-crazy-then-say-“Oh, is it that time again, then?”. Damn it all, if I was bleeding every single time you annoyed me, I’d be dead, you stupid man!

Now I think I’ve come up against the second most annoying line.
I was gurgling back to a baby, making a grinny two-year-old giggle in the shop, keeping two little imps amused while their parents finished their meal. And then it comes,
“You like kids a lot?”
“Adore them!”
“Want me to give you one of your own?”

I took a deep breath and said, “I want to have kids with somebody, not from somebody.”
Get it? I think he did, since he vamoosed and hasn’t been heard of ever since.

The next wave isn’t so much a wave as a messy little puddle that needs to be fenced in carefully to keep it from soaking you through and then evaporating.

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on July 5, 2006, in Battle of the sexes, Hormone hangover, Relationships, Times, they are a-changing. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. u’ve got it all wrong madam.. men are like toilet seats they r either taken or full of shit

    … and women are like mobile phones once you commit to one, you find a newer one with better features and you wish you’ve had that

    bahut pakaya… now me culti

  2. Nice post, agree with you on pretty much everything you said here!!

  3. Awesome post girl…welome back…missed your thoughts.

    SK

  4. hey girl you have to start responding to comments..else its like talking to black hole..

    nice post btw 🙂

  5. iyer: LOL…agree with u, on the first bit at least!

    menagerie: Thanks!

    anonymous: SK?

    ligne: Your wish is my command! Am trying…honest.

  6. ‘Price Charming’- How apt indeed!

  7. hahaha… I LOVE this… you should copyright it..
    “Damn it all, if I was bleeding every single time you annoyed me, I’d be dead, you stupid man!”

    hahaha… I can’t stop laughing…

    My response to a man hu says.. “God yer in a bad mood… are you PMS-ed ?!”.. is generally a plain unimaginative.. “No..are YOU ?!”…

    But I LOVE yours..
    With your permission.. I’d like to use it.. ALL THE TIME !

    -anon1

  8. Damn.. I’m late as always.. Both the ‘Price Charming’ and the ‘bleeding..dead’ comments have been commented on.
    I’ll just wait for the next wave.

  9. Oh gaaaaahhhh……contrary to popular perception, I am NOT perfect, guys!

  10. Yup, have to admit u had me laughing with this one…

    Strange how a complete stranger can be enamoured with another complete stranger with about two blogs worth of reading in all of 7 mins.

    Must just be me.–>

  11. Asisin: Possibly. Or perhaps its just me? 🙂

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