A whole different ballgame

Football, football, football!
It has only just begun and I’m already sick of it.
And I thought the cricket mania was bad!
Yes, yes, I’m one of those boring women who don’t know a thing about cars and who yawn at the very mention of sports.
But I’m a pretty girl and pretty girls are never lonely (quote-unquote Eva Longoria in Desperate Housewives)…or bored for that matter (quote-unquote IdeaSmith)

Not true, I discover this weekend.
I should have read the signs on Friday evening when the predominantly male population of the office packed up and left early…no, not on dates, not for movies or parties…but to sack out in front of their TVs.

Saturday and Sunday come and go with equally disappointing trends.
My last week’s date with the much-hinted-at follow-up this weekend doesn’t materialize…he’s too busy watching the match to make a trip across town.
Guy no. 2 is going to a friend’s place to watch the game with a bunch of other like-minded guys.
What like-minded guys? That spells virtually the entire male population of the city.
Guy no. 3 is sleeping…wuzzup laid last night washing ze game…he mumbles and starts to drift into slumber again.

Dee hasn’t called. He usually calls if I don’t. *Fret fret*
In fact most weekends, he’s my wake-up call as he crows “Still sleeping? Some people live such pampered lives…” But today? The phone is silent.
Our last two conversations have been 99% my yakking and 1% of “Hmm”, “Uh, huh” and versions of the same from him.
“What is it about men and ballgames? I think its ridiculous!!!”
“Hmmm…”
“Why do you suppose men are so fascinated with balls?”
“Umm…”
Great. This from a man who can out-talk me, out-shout me, out-argue me any day.
*Sighh*
“Okay, have a good month!”
“Huh? Where are you going?”
“Nowhere. But you’re going to be in football planet for a month.””So?””So we aren’t going to have real conversations for a month”
“Hmm….why?”
“Because you’re busy watching football”
“Yes, it does get difficult in the evenings”
“DEE!!!!!!!!! We talk ONLY in the evenings. You and I both work during the day.””Ummm…””Never mind, why don’t you get back to your game? Goodnight”
“Hmm…”

And dad, even dad, my last hope for mankind has hogged the idiot box. No, not football, this man is always different. Tennis is his ballgame. Dash it all, I say, its just another game, after all. He ignores my wail. I mean…so they’re whacking a ball around with nets on sticks instead of kicking it around…and, and, its even a tinier ball! “Quiet, now…I can’t hear the commentary” dad growls. I decide to stay mum. Besides I very much doubt, daddy dearest is going to want to hear my theory of men and their balls. Errrmmm…

Commentary…that’s another thing I can’t understand. I mean…you’re watching the damn game…who needs someone to spell out each move? Men do, apparently. In which case, why do they keep shush-shushing me when I talk at movies? *Grumble grumble*

Sum total: Every single guy I hang out with, date and talk to…is glued to the game. Well, who needs a guy for entertainment? Dash it all…I can’t hang out with women ALL month! What’s more, every single shop, restaurant, mall and pub I walk into is proudly displaying its allegiance to the confounded game…not to mention keeping the predominantly male population enraptured.

Oh well, when you can’t beat them….at least there’ll be some eye-candy on the field. Turn up the volume someone, I want to hear the commentary.

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on June 12, 2006, in Battle of the sexes, On a lighter note... Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Dial ‘B’ for Boredom! 😛

  2. I meant, Dial ‘B’ to eradicate Boredom! 😛 Damn you Freud!

  3. I read this immediately after writing the sports obsessed entry into my blog… Being a sports fanatic and a guy, I can say that my interest in sport-watching arose during my endless cricket playing days as a kid… If we did not watch them, there would not be any world cup… Finally, I believe in the quote “If you cant beat them, join them and then beat them.” – not an original, just goes well with my philosophy, esp when it comes to sports..

  4. Well, I didn’t object when you were bashing the football craze, but with criticizing tennis, you may just have gone a bit too far. 🙂

    I am crazy for tennis. I really am. I am one of those people who sign up as fans at http://www.rogerfederer.com, but before you jump to any conclusions, I do have a life too. 🙂 It’s just that I find the game very interesting.

    However, I can completely empathise with you. My wife’s going through the same phase as you.

  5. Well.. I started betting with the guys at work.. and NOW I’m over to the “dark-side”…
    I was down 60 bucks till yesterday.. now Im up 25…

    So here’s nother twist .. if you can’t “beat” em.. “bet” with ’em… !!

    :-/

    cheesy… I know !

    -anon1

  6. U summed up my thoughts with your last line…”when you can’t beat them…” 😉
    But I guess here I have a natural affection and passion for the game myself, so can’t really crib!In fact I hate to have someone disturb me with an inane conversation during a match…he he.

  7. hmm.
    Do you ever wonder, even for a little bit, that there might, just a faint random tiny possibility, that there is actually something, that you might be completely missing?

    ~A

  8. I love watching cricket and football (at least when the world cup is on). The only reason I haven’t been watching as much cricket as I would is cause am in no crick land..and work prevents me from being able to watch all the football matches which are played during the day.

    At the same time I can sympathise with you..
    for I feel like this when the a room fully of people starts discussing LOTR or recently Da Vinci Code I feel left out 😦

    To each his own haan?

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