Platonic friendships

Today I read something about how a guy should behave as regards a girlfriend with ‘too many male friends’. How many is too many, by the way?

A good friend of mine (male, obviously….so many of them are!) told me that I’d always have difficult relationships since so many of my friends are male.

Now this is odd. I’ve never had issues relating to this. At least I don’t think so. Despite my long laments about the evils that men bring to society, the fact is that most of my close friends are male. I draw the boundaries of friendship very clearly. Of course there are all those spillovers resulting from loneliness, rebounds, hormones, stress and such things. But I think all of these can be sorted out if at least one person, if not both, can keep a rational mind. I’m probably rigid since I define ‘friends’, ‘dates’, ‘colleagues’ and ‘acquaintances’ so sharply. I try and keep all these definitions water-tight and from spilling into each other. It is necessary for someone who likes people but also wants to keep sane.

So fine, then. What am I harping about?

I just had a thought today. The aforementioned article mentions that ‘men don’t want female friends. They’re just trying to see if they can take it elsewhere.’ That bit of information makes me steam at the ears. But I’m curious. Is that really the truth? What DO men think?

Is it possible for a man and woman to be friends?
Can the platonic state exist for its own sake and not just because the two are bound by other relationships or something else?
Do men make a differentiation between male and female friends? (I don’t mean the way they treat them and talk to them, but how they see them with respect to their own lives….how important are they, how much they trust…)

I’m rather tired of screaming myself hoarse about the woman’s point of view. Now I really do want to know the male perspective. So, inputs anybody?


About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on November 13, 2005, in Battle of the sexes, Seriously speaking, Times, they are a-changing. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. judging by responses they solicit or dont, mebbe my perspectives do not count for much in this blogspace…not that it’s sticking my neck out again….
    no expert on these matters.but i do share “friendship” spaces with either sex…scope and nature of space shares can be different..for me, presence or absence of activities are not the “qualifier”…shared activities are a matter of mutual choices…
    to me,friendship is “acceptance” and unconditional space share…can live through difference of views on various matters…

  2. yeeeeeah! you are back – without your posts i was replying completely on info given by my apt mate to stay updated abt you 😀

  3. I can’t believe ‘you’ of all persons is posing this question, but nevertheless here’s my point of view.
    Instead of a simple and straightforward ‘yes’, I would say, ‘Why can’t a guy and gal be friends?’
    My closest pal is a girl, and there have been times when the thought occured to each of us, why are we not goin’ steady, instead of being friends. But somehow, we just didn’t feel like getting into something like that.
    Reply to the third question: On the same lines as the first reply, ‘I don’t see any reason to make a differentiation between the sexes’
    Wasn’t there a joke, if women really got to know what goes in the man’s mind: ‘Got Beer?’

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