Men and me

I like men.
I really do like men. A lot. The most important people in my life have almost always been men (barring a few, very few exceptions).The people who have shaped my thinking and my emotions, who have cut me and built me up…every single one of them has been male.

They were family…a father, a grandfather, uncles, cousins.
They were friends. They were boyfriends.
They were teachers and mentors and guides.
They were friendly strangers who helped me find direction and expected something in return.
They were scheming adversaries to be defeated and pitied.
They were temptations and weaknesses to be overcome.
They were indulgent advisors who patted me on the head and watched fondly as I learnt to fly.

They were all men.

It amazes me that few people have realized that. All the time that I spend thinking and analyzing and calculating how to surprise people…it is almost always targeted at men…is that not obvious?

I’m amused when I’m accused of being a feminist. Call me an egoist…that I am, perhaps. I’m conceited enough to think I’ll do a better job of being a man than most men I know. I am jaded enough to know that men have had a better deal in this world than women have. Now, I’m realistic enough to admit that I’m in a uniquely advantaged position…that of being an educated, self-aware, liberated woman in a world where women can be almost anything they want to be. And now I actually feel sorry for my favorite part of the human race…the men.

I used to think that I was a tomboy and that I fit in well into that role because I didn’t like being a girl. I realize now, that the reason I hung out with guys is because I liked them so much, even to the extent of wanting to ape them. The strongest influences in my life have, after all, been all male. I had my gender identity mixed up for awhile and having crushes on men added to the agony. Growing up has its advantages and perspective is one of them. I realize I’m privileged to be a woman at this time, in this class of society.

I fully enjoy everything that goes into being a woman. Even the forced dependence on men, at times, doesn’t bother me as much when I realize that its part of the gender equation. It has taken a long time for me to be able to admit it but I like men and everything that makes them. The ego, the vulnerability, the one-track-mindedness, the childish tantrums, the protectiveness, the baser instincts, the roughness of expression and language, the tenderness of denied emotions….every single thing that spells MAN.

The best thing about being a woman is having a lifetime of experiencing men.

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on June 18, 2005, in Battle of the sexes, Hormone hangover. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. 20%feminism + 5%ego + 25%analysis + 50% honesty = 100% enjoyable post 🙂 good one!

  2. And once again, you’ve surprised every man who reads the XX factor, by showing us how wrong we could be in our assumptions about you based on some of your previous posts here.
    I’m sure every man who has played a role (atleast the positive ones) in your life, feels fortunate to have had the chance.

  3. Hey I like the, “scheming adversaries” part 🙂

  4. Hey I like the, “scheming adversaries” part 🙂

  5. Women DEFINITELY spend more time thinking about men than men do thinking about Women…

    EVEN if you count all the time men spend on fantasizing… leering.. drooling… etc etc…

    Maybe women need to stop wasting time.. “thinking” about men..

    -anon1

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