Doomsday predictions

I see patterns in relationships. I see hints of the future to come.

The male of the species is pulling up its collective socks and learning better manners. All such adjectives as ‘sensitive’, ‘dandy’ and ‘supportive’ have been retrieved from that back-alley of masculine ridicule and are being refurbished and presented in best possible light to woo the world.

Of course my too-logical brain approves and applauds the efforts of ‘the other half’ to come up to par with the standards set by ‘my half’. On the other hand, I am completely appalled by the idea of living with or even dating a man who exhibits the above mentioned traits.

I’ve spent more time than I ever wanted in self-analysis (the things a frenzied mind will do to fill up emptiness!!!). I’ve come to several conclusions which are neither complimentary to my race nor very pleasant in view of the future.

1. Women may get left behind in the rush to usher in the new gender equations. Reminiscing to wards [ours(current), ours (with ex-1,2,3), his (with ex-1,2,3), neighbors, baby-sitting charges, adoptees, friends of kids…],
Old Modern Woman (OMW)1 : Remember when men were insulted if we competed with them? Not like these new kids today fighting for each other’s rights…what is the world coming to?
OMW2 (nods and turns to yell): “Be home early!!! And tell that girlfriend of yours that nice girls bring their dates home on time!!!”

2. We may actually see the rise of ‘Men’s liberation’ supported and funded secretly by the BOSWORB (Burnt-out Superwomen wanting their old roles back)

3. Men may retailate and decide they like their newly polished and groomed avatars anyday. I can just hear the conversations between the new-age couple

(She: Bills, bills, bills!!! Colour therapy, pedicure appointments, sensitivity seminars…???
He: Don’t worry sweetheart, you’ll find a way to make ends meet. I must rush now…have to go see my counsellor about my submerged aggression)

4. I, along with all other chronic female thinkers may just go mad with the whole effort of making gloomy predictions.

Ah….give me a beast to tame any day….Beauty wasn’t a myth after all, she was a personification of my gender.

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About IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelganger of Ramya Pandyan (intrepid train-traveller and frequent spouter of post-midnight rhymes and rants). As IdeaSmith she battles obscurity and slays boredom with her stories about men, books, digitalia and Mumbai. She performs live and also blogs, tweets, Instagrams, Facebooks, +G’s, Youtubes and Goodreads all as IdeaSmith. Ramya is a blogger, digital storyteller and spoken word performer. She also runs a forum for aspiring writers called Alphabet Sambar. Tweet-bomb her at @ideasmithy.

Posted on April 23, 2005, in Battle of the sexes, On a lighter note.., Times, they are a-changing. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I retooled my Armageddon shelter in the basement as I read through your conclusions. But conclusion (4.) put things in perspective and I realized that your mind was meandering in melancholy mode again!
    But your thoughts are well timed. The word Metrosexual seems to popup with a disturbing frequency these days. Wikipedia has it defined as:
    ‘an urban male of any sexual orientation who has a strong aesthetic sense and spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle.’
    Hmmm….

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