My dear friends, my poor dear friends that suffer the agony of matrimonial match-making! Aside from the usual agonizing boy-meet-girl-over-tea/coffee ritual, there’s the incessent pressure pressure PRESSURE from the rest of the world.

The prospect’s education (pedigree), employment, family background, hobbies and friends are examined in great detail. And if 3 of these fit then voila!! We have a match!!!!

Attraction has no place in this discussion. Like the father of one of my friends once said,

Arre beta, yeh sab kuch nahin hota! When I was your age, I wanted to marry Hema Malini but see, I married your mother instead!

Ah well, and how does one argue with logic of that sort?

My most recent friend-victim sniffs,

Attraction??!! Try telling that to them. A good family and education is more than 90% of it and then even if there is even 5% attraction…WHAM! Close the deal!

Awww…in consolation I replied,

Like the perfect receipe for onion sambar? Ah, but sambar isn’t sambar without the sambar masala powder!

I think I’ll use that in one of my own arguments next time. Sounds a helluva lot better than…

I won’t marry someone I can’t imagine sleeping next to (and with) every night (and some days)!

…and it might actually work the next time mum tries to shove a mustachioed Mani Idli-Iyer at me.