XXFactored Aug2011: Relationship Anarchy, Divorced Friends, Crushes & Glorious Singledom

August saw XX Factor introducing its very first guest-writer, TheSingleMarriedMan. I’ve been asking him to write a guest post for ages but he only recently consented. He’s newly single (after a longterm relationship) and is bringing his own brand of humour, cynicism & wisdom to XX Factor. I’ve also been on the lookout for alternate voices, male or female for this space. The battle of the sexes, relationships, dating & love are too big for just one person to talk about, don’t you think? If you or someone you know is interested in being one of the voices of XX Factor, do write in to me at ideasmithy at gmail dot com. And until then, here’s what we were looking at in August:

• ‘Indian Relationships: A State Of Anarchy‘: In this age of limitless social interaction, are we also setting ourselves up to relationship predators? (via Yahoo!RealBeauty)
• Tips for women on dealing with a male friend in the throes of divorce (via TheSingleMarriedMan)
• You’re never too old for a crush! (via Yahoo!RealBeauty)
• ‘Socially Obliged‘: A passionate viewpoint on being single & the way society may be heading (via Facebook)
• ‘Would you want women-only subway cars to stop sexual harassment?‘: An angle on street harassment – should women have to be segregated on public transport for protection? The question is raised by a US citizen for the US but the discussion holds valid everywhere, even ‘safe’ Mumbai with its ladies’ compartment. (via TheFrisky)

XXFactored Earlier:

• XXFactored Jul2011: Dating, Male Behaviour & A Woman’s Point Of Vi
• XXFactored Jun11: Living In, Female Sanitary Products, Appropriate Parenthood, Male Orgasms & A Playboy Bunny

XXFactored Jul2011: Dating, Male Behaviour & A Woman’s Point Of View

Another month has run through and we’re into the second half of the year. It’ll be festival season in Mumbai very soon and the partying/celebrations will carry on right up to new year. I’m going to have something to say about all of those, of course (the female perspective on every thing!!). But in the meantime, here’s some link-love to keep you reading:

• ‘Decoding Dating Profiles Part II: More Guys You Want To Avoid‘: You can never have too many of these, can you? Lists I mean, not avoidable guys! (via BettyConfidential)
• ‘The Best Kind Of Guy Friend‘: How many of us are this lucky, ladies? (via Yahoo! Real Beauty)
• ‘Why do men Email porn clips to friends?’: A funny analysis of some of the useless things that men do. (via Emandlo)
• In this day & age of limitless social interactions, are we setting ourselves up to relationship predators?: ‘Indian Relationships: A State Of Anarchy‘ (via Yahoo!Real Beauty)
• ‘Top 5 Things Not To Say To A Woman Over 30‘: I know wayyy too many people who need to read this article. (via AskMen)
• ‘The Faceless Hand In The Crowd‘: Who says this is a safe city for women? (via Yahoo!Real Beauty)
• ‘Sweaty Apples, Dance Cards & Dainty Gloves-Dating Rituals From Days Of Yore‘: Ewww, sweaty apples, what? (via TheFrisky)

XXFactored Jun11: Living In, Female Sanitary Products, Appropriate Parenthood, Male Orgasms & A Playboy Bunny

June feels like a good month. It’s the first time I have ever welcomed a monsoon in Mumbai.

I’ve been doing some writing, outside of these two blogs. My commentary on relationships has been getting an interesting (read masaledaar…look at the comments) response at Yahoo! Real Beauty. But the site’s new Recommendations section also featured a style post, a book  review and 2 app stories, all by me. FriendsOfBooks carried my list on 10 Great Vacation Reads For Children. I did some advisory content work on the topics of Romance, Relationships, Love & Sex (sorry, I can’t explain more due to the terms of the contract).

And in between all that, here’s what I was reading:

• ‘Notes On Living With My Ex-Boyfriend For Eight Months‘ : Egad! When living in goes wrong. It was strangely comforting, though….to know that you don’t stop feeling or living. (via ThoughtCatalog)‘
• ‘Should I Be Embarassed To Buy Tampons?‘ : Funny, I always thought it was very thoughtful of local chemists to newspaper-wrap sanitary napkins on sale. Was I being unknowingly regressive? Or do we just not *have* to shout out every little detail about our bodies? (via TheFrisky)
• ‘Dads, Hug Your Daughters!‘ : Pertinent but preachy? (via TheFrisky)’
• ‘Man Takes Revenge At Girlfriend With Abortion Billboard‘ : Does this make you go “Aww, how sweet!” or “Ooh, touchy, touchy!”? (via YourTango)
• Just in case you ever wondered…’What A Male Orgasm Feels Like‘ (via YourTango)
• Indian parents seem to be caught in that unfortunate tug-of-war between the conservative ‘ladki se paisa nahin lenge’ attitude and pro-feminist/independence world for their daughters. (via Twitter)
• ‘The 5 Stages Of Most Relationships ‘ : Rather depressing how many of these are true! (via Maxim)
• A rather funny (and annoyingly familiar) flow-chart on ‘How Men and Women Argue’ (via Maxim)
• ‘The story of an ex-Playboy bunny‘: Actually a rather good read. (via The Good Men Project)

XXFactored May2011: What We Clash On, How We React & A New XXFactor Mood

I’ve been busy this month so XX Factor hasn’t seen as much activity. But since my life’s experiences feed into this blog, you can expect a lot more in the months to come. Just give me a bit to catch my breath and make sense of everything that’s been happening and I’ll be XXFactoring before long!

Last month, I asked you what direction you’d like to see this blog go in and here are the results of that poll:

For awhile now, I’d been thinking it was time for this blog to ‘grow up’ along with me. But a grown-up me is still me and thus, I figured XX Factor should still be about men and relationships, only with a more mature perspective. I’m happy to note that my readers think so too. I did notice a few people still wanted a confessional on relationships. I’ve always been rather moody about my privacy, which is where the anonymity of blogging gave me a platform to talk but from within my comfort zone. My anonymity is gone now and with it my privacy (and security). But I don’t have the same fears anymore. And I don’t believe it is possible to talk about love, relationships and life without drawing from one’s one experiences. So, my posts will still draw from my own personal wisdom, even if I’m not giving you minutely updates of my dating life.

Incidentally, do check out my posts on Yahoo! Real Beauty; the latest one up there is kicking up quite a storm in the married male teacup! And the little I managed to read online this month:

• What he says, what you think and what he really means!-”8 Things That Men Say” (via CafeMom)
• Truth or flaming? Gaurav Kapur passes on a pearl of wisdom that most I men I know would RT and which would make most women breathe fire. (via Twitter, RTed on my timeline by Suketu Talekar)

XXFactored Apr2011: Facebook Etiquette, Men’s (Inner) Style & Stereotypes In Toy Ads

XX Factor has been having a few adventures this month. I contributed an article to Femina.in (linked below). I faced down a copycat attack and with a lot of support from the onlineverse, got him to take it down. Quarter-year and I’m also looking at diversifying the interests of this blog and changing its tone. I think it’s time to take XX Factor from a personal confessional into a full-blown social commentary space. It’s been on that path for awhile, all that remains is to make it ‘official’. But nothing happens without your okay so please use the pollbox or the comments section to tell me what you think of this.

And after that, here’s what XX Factor is featuring this month:

XXFactored Mar2011: Sex, Self-Image And Complicated Committment

Time for another XXFactored post already! So much has been happening this woman’s own life that I’m afraid I’ve been lagging behind in the spectator stakes. Maybe what I’m reading mirrors what I’ve been thinking. Here’s what was up with March 2011:

• A basket of goodies from the queen of confessions who lists the different kinds of sex (via TheCompulsiveConfessor)
• Daughterly guilt and who’s fighting it – Google, Infosys! (via EconomicTimes)
• A personal account of bust enhancement surgery and its aftermath. Forget sniggering, this really makes me want to say “No judgement” (via DailyMail)
• Is this the truth behind all those annoying ‘happily ever after’ couples? Meet a woman who wants Facebook to know that she’s married and ‘It’s complicated’! (via YourTango)
• Do some of the phrases that gain popularity, make you cringe? Dating terminology that we need to ditch (via YourTango)
• Couples fight more than 300 times a year! I don’t know about you but that certainly makes me feel better! (via Glamour)
• How ironic that we talk about the emotional/moral/social aspects of virginity and totally neglect the physical? 7 things you didn’t know about the hymen (via YourTango)
• Lalita Iyer of HT Cafe’s Chickwit column presents her take on a chauvinistic comedian’s act (via Chickwit)
• And finally a bit of a self-plug (I think I’ve earned it!): Do check out some of my top-of-the-line posts at Yahoo! Real Beauty. A few of them are sparking off a storm in the teacup there!

XXFactored Feb2011: Defying V-Day Month With Sugar Mamas, Smart Girls & DIY

February, month of Valentine’s day and mush-mania from the media. I’m determined not to add to that deluge of pink teddy bears, silk hearts, roses and chocolates. Here’s presenting my picks for the short n’ spicy month of the year:

• The Rise Of The Sugar Mama (via YourTango).
• I’m actually flattered as I think a smart woman would be if she read on to page 2: Thought Catalog on why you should date an illiterate girl (link courtesy Alfred Lee).
• A good piece on innovative alternate uses for everyday products in beauty/fashion. (via Vintage Obsession)
• This is so not good news for us. Ladies, what’s this strange fascination we have with mystery (the more dangerous, the better)?: “Want to pique a date’s interest: Play hard to get” (via LiveScience)
• Sexual success dampens criminal behaviour. It’s not so much ‘calming influence of marriage’ as it is ‘ambition fulfiled’. (via The Economist)
• “Admirer Calls out Girl’s Facebook Status ‘Im so sick of boys being such dicks”…and ‎….and the comment-war that follows touching on everything from boy-girl relationships, online venting and Digg vs Redditt. (via Digg)
• An erotic writer writing as a man experiencing a woman. Gender lines crossing all over. (via RamyaRanee)
• We’re not a stockinged country but everyone loves legs (yes, we women do too!) and I love graphs in pop culture. So here’s presenting a matrix of stocking styles. “What your hosiery says about you” (via The Frisky)

XXFactored Jan2011: Dutch Dates, Blind Dates, Lipstick, Wingmen, Dumping, Sex & Style

The first month of 2011 opens bright and clear for me. I think I’ve gotten a grip on this Bookmarked feature but I’m still waiting for your inputs. Talk to me! Tell me if this works for you and why. Do you prefer getting the links as-and-when on the XX Factor Facebook Page? Or do you like seeing a ‘best of’ list at the end of the month? What else would you like to see? What would you like to dump?

Here are my picks for the first month of the year. We’re heading into the (not going to say it, not going to say it) pink, heart-shaped month of February and  that could mean a number of interesting things for XX Factor. Keep reading!

• As a bonafide geek-girl, I guess these are the women, it would be a compliment to be compared to: Ten Classic Nerd Queens Over 40 (via Gunaxin)
• To go dutch or not, that is the big question. Here’s some reasonably sound advice from a man: The New Take On Going Dutch (via ManOfTheHouse)
• Pop psychology has its uses, especially in dating!: Judging A Guy’s Dating Potential By His Job (via YourTango)
• There’s nothing quite like red lipstick. It really is the superhero cape for a girl! How To Do Red Lips For Indian Skin (via Republic of Chic)
• If this were in a movie or a book, I’d deem it cheesy. But here, I’m all “Awww…”: “The customer is only enrolling so she can see you more often. The customer is in love with you.” (via PostSecret)
• A Girl Who Set Up 15 Dates In The Same Bar…And Stood Them All Up! (via Nerve)
• Find The Perfect Wingman! (via Foster’s)
• Harsh but true: “You always post those “85% of people don’t have the courage to post this as their status” FB status updates.” (via ThatsWhyIDumpedYou)
• On bad-boy-loving women and how to behave around them (via AskMen)
• 12 Types Of Friends You Should Break Up With (via YourTango)
• A matrilinear society in modern day India? (via TheGuardian, tipped off by Sveccha Kumar)
• 10 Fun Facts About Kissing: See no.4 on this list! I’m tempted to say it’s worth living a short life if you live it rightly and kissfully! (via TheFrisky)
• Tricky Tacky Trousers (via WTForever21)
• Health is a privilege for Indian women: 70% can’t afford sanitary napkins, reveals study (via TimesOfIndia)
• I’ll stick with ‘Familiarity breeds contempt’.:Passion Fades & The Phenomenon Has A LOLsy Name (via NakedCity)
• What women really think of sex (via Twitter)

XXFactored! Dec2010 – Social Networking, Relationship Dilemmas, Fashion Follies & A Masulinist Edge

December has been full of drama and dazzle as always…a wonderful way to finish the year! I’ve been running ragged between parties, lunches, brunches, dinners, meeting out-of-town friends and family and celebrations. But I have managed to keep up with what’s hot and happening on the internet as well. And here’s what I was warming my fingertips with this month on XX Factor:

• Financial independence, earning capacity…What’s sex got to do with it? (via Yahoo! Real Beauty)
• Does this mean I can claim my romcom DVDs under ‘Education Expenses’? Lessons from 90s romcoms (via YourTango)
• Grrrlllll power! Or maybe men are just easier to pick up than women! (via RhealityRings)
• We’ve seen ChickLit and then DickLit (or LadLit). Now here’s to GadLit (which is my truncation of Gay Lad Lit)! Tell what is thunk? (via Gaysi Family)
• Other people’s mistakes almost always provide a laugh…especially when they’re bigtime celebrity types. So here’s appealing to the inner cat in all of us. Miaow to that! (via Yahoo!)
• Maybe a lack of flexibility is the cause for most of our problems. That, and the fact that we expect people to love in exactly the same way we do. (via Twitter)
• My post on Yahoo! Real Beauty and a version of it that appeared earlier right here on XX Factor. I’m still asking for your thoughts.
• Five secret tests guys use to evaluate you while on a date (via Glamour).
• You can outsource anything in today’s day and age!! (via idump4U)
• Of course, this has a misogynistic air about it but it is funny. How to spot (and save your wallet from) a golddigger. (via The Bachelor Guy)
• Earlier posted on The XX Factor and now also on Yahoo! Real Beauty – the world’s most popular social network adds another layer of complexity to the already-intricate labyrinth of relationships.
• If our relationships are a reflection of the games we’re used to playing, maybe the people we date, are images of our favorite toys. Who then are we, by the toys we play with? (via Yahoo! Real Beauty).
• I can’t vouch for the people but the idea sounds interesting. For all you single bibliophiles out there! Alikewise is a dating website that matches you with people of similar book tastes.
• Really interesting how many of the roles depicted on this list tackled gender stereotypes. Ten ladies who’ve cross-dressed for roles. (via TheFrisky)
• Revolutionary or ridiculous? You tell me. I’m going with funny. “French Women Who Like To Swim Topless Protest By Asking Men To Wear Bikini Tops” (via TheFrisky).
• I tend to avoid risque on The XX Factor but this one was too good to pass up! TheFrisky‘s Sexy Rating Chart!
• Eh heh heh. This site makes fun of the Forever 21 brand. But this post likened superheroes to hookers. Funny, that resemblance never occurred to me. (via WTForever21)
• Earlier on The XX Factor and now on Yahoo! Real Beauty: Why do we trade in the attention of a hundred men for the indifference of one?
• A rather looooong article but it brings up some salient points. Gender equality isn’t quite as simple as it sounds, is it?”A modest proposal for male reproductive rights” (via MensNewsDaily).

If you found yourself featured here, if you’d like to be or even if you just enjoyed anything on this list (or…umm, didn’t), hop over to the XX Factor Facebook Page and talk to me about it! A very happy new year, everyone! XX Factor will see you on the other side of 2011.

XXFactored!: November 2010 – Lists, Style, Love And Harry Potter

I’ve barely posted through the month of November. What with one thing or another with the domain problems and having to move back to good ol’ free WordPress, things got pushed aside. But the XX Factor Facebook page has been active, sure enough. And for those of you who didn’t catch the updates as they happened, here are the highlights once again:

• I was surprised at how accurate these felt even in the Indian context. Human relationships are universal, I suppose. 20 things couples should do before they move in together and another 20 they should not do after moving in together (via TheFrisky)
• What I want to know is – what qualifies as ‘new’? 10 basic rules for a new relationship (via YourTango)
• Of special interest to me since I made the first move with Mr.Everyday and I did at least two of the things on this list. 10 subtle ways to make the first move. (via TheFrisky)
• Flirting styles by the cast of Beverley Hills 90210 (via Lemondrop)
• 7 tips for dressing curves that are a must-read for the Indian-woman-sized figure. (via AllWomanStalk)
• A tricky question indeed: “Am I wrong for hooking up with my friend’s ex-?” (via TheFrisky)
• Pool Noodle girlfriend & other gross things guys do. Eww, dirty boys! (via TheFrisky)
• Much of this, common sense. But we all need reminding of THAT sometimes, don’t we?: How to fall in love with Mr.Good Enough. (via YourTango)
• We’ve read these a hundred times before. We know them off the tops of our heads. We rarely disagree with each other on these, no matter what our differences. But still ‘men’s mistakes’ always get us off…laughing!: The 10 stupidest mistakes men make with women. (via TheFrisky)
• An Indian (?) guy reading an Indian (?) author. HOT! (via HotGuysReadingBooks)
• 12 techno-relationship rules to live by. (via TheDailyBeast)
• A whole list of things that made me go ‘Awwww’ and which would make my boyfriend cringe if I ever actually mentioned them!: What do men really find romantic? (via ThirdAge)
• The best way to be with a funny woman. (via DoubleViking)
• 4 secrets every woman should know. (via TheRealCougarWoman)
• How to buy lingerie for a woman. (via ModernMan)
• 8 Harry Potter tools we want for our relationships. (via YourTango)
• The Dance Of The Pot – How did we ever turn into such a patriarchal, chauvinistic society? (via Devdutt)
• I was baffled by an invite I received recently which asked for ‘Smart Casual attire’. Read about setting a dress cold for your party. (via ManofTheHouse)
• Feminism turned on its *ahem* occasionally biased head. (viaWords&Pictures)

I really have been a listmaniac this month, haven’t I? I’m still waiting to hear what you think of my picks! Love? Hate? Snooze?