Just yesterday, I took her and all of our mutual friends from facebook. Something I won’t be able to do a day before. It’s a pity, sad, but I had to do something to free myself.

She had broke off with her 8 years bf. Big blow. Anyway, we were just friends then, only calling each other for a group gathering once in a blue moon to catch up on each other’s lives. Then we ended up working in the same company. She was still depressed over her breakup. Our colleagues were our friends, but I was the one available for her most of the time. The friendship was good and my company helped comfort her. Until one evening in my car our arms brushed, and I believed she was intentionally brushing it twice more, cos I think the first gave her something interesting, as I felt it. My hands are on the wheels all the time. I never knew for real if she felt the same. Fast forward, we hanged out together almost everyday for a few months and we both glowed, everyone noticed how “better” we looked but never realised why. Then suddenly just as I started to go along with it, she changed, closed in. I had not expressed anything but just given her comapny, so I believe it wasn’t me (yet) to have caused it, I just guessed she can’t accept her feelings for me. Said she doesn’t want me to be too close and not too far, friends. That’s the best answer she gave when I asked her what happened, why the sudden distancing. Our friendship started to strain badly because of her tensed treatment and also stress from job. Few months past until I can’t take it anymore I spilt it out to her after she quit the job, conveniently to avoid us needing to face each other. After she read my confession email, she never replied. After some pestering, she replied that she was disgusted and disappointed with me. I never told her I was disappointed too that in her eyes I could turn from a respectable caring friend into some disgusting freak just like that. I tried with as much comforting words I could and that’s it until yesterday I told her I’m out of her way now, facebook, chatlist, and phonebook, “vanished”. I’m terribly broken. Can’t eat, no longer the funny friend I was.. I feel like shit and really hate it, but I am fighting it. I don’t think I did anything wrongful, but this is what I get, a criminal punishment. Do wish me strenght.