The Male Slut

Personally I loathe the ‘s’ word. I’m no prude but it is just derogatory. On the other hand, it conveys a certain devil-may-care, FO attitude, doesn’t it? Or more aptly ,a fuck-me-or-fuck-off attitude. Perfect. That’s this man alright. Can I attempt to define the Male Slut? Rather tough. Let me just describe him, I’m sure we’ve all known him.

In college I knew of a lecturer who was a cult across campuses. At the start of the year, I was told about him by a senior who added as an after-thought,

He’s an asshole. Expect to not learn anything.

I wasn’t in his class that term. But I did get a call from a friend from another college all breathy,

I’m in lurrrrrve. Ooooh, what a man!

I braced myself to hear about her latest campus conquest. And instead I got a earful about her professor. I figured she was just living out a popular student/teacher fantasy. Till I met the man himself.

My first thought was,

He looks like Billy Bunter!

But I noticed that the crowd in the hall hung on to his every word, the girls practically drooling and the guys…ah, well, we’ll get to that in awhile.

Next term, I was in the dude-professor’s class. Ah…like lycra, he definitely had it. It’s hard to define what he had. Charisma? Intelligence? Talent? Not quite..or perhaps a little of all of these. But most of all, was his ability to flirt with crowds and hold their attention like it was sexual interest. He performed for an audience that lusted for him. In a class, at a meeting of directors, as a judge to an event. He seduced his listeners, male and female, with his presence and it was always a performance that brought the house down. His insults seemed like deep words of praise while his verbal bouquets left people wondering where he was really sticking the knife into them. We loved him, we hated him but we all knew him. Sure he had his detractors but the best-loved artists have their critics, don’t they?

Which brings us to the concept of the Male Slut. A slut isn’t just someone who enjoys the attention of the opposite sex…everyone likes that. This is somebody who works with attention like it is a tangible thing. Think of a gymnast playing with a satin ribbon, tossing it, whirling it in, playing with it, seducing it, fighting with it, pulling it in. It’s a spectacular show. That’s what a slut does with attention.

A Male Slut isn’t quite a Bad Boy…that’s too brazen, too blatant and a little too risky for him. Male Sluts treat their women well; they are charming. They may leave behind a trail of broken hearts but rarely ever a resentful one. Affection is a source of attention and the Male Slut will ensure that it is a perennial one. Remember the friend who will always have dinner with her ex-, even go shopping with him for a gift for his new girlfriend and tell you that,

We were not meant to be together so we’re great friends now. I love him but as a friend!

Bingo. You’ve just had a conversation with one of his ex-es. And no doubting, there’ll be several of them. If a Bad Boy is a prima donna, the star of the show, the Male Slut is the director himself, the silent force behind the scenes, while the rest of the cast has no choice but to follow his dictat.

Male Sluts are intelligent and too practical to not milk it to the fullest extent. Is it a wonder then, that so many of them are successful people? Intelligence is used to get every single thing they want. Sucess, status, recognition, approval, attention. The Male Slut uses intelligence the way some women use mascara and plunging necklines.

What’s really remarkable is that the Male Slut is a man who has comfortably overcome (at least visibly) the common male fear of recognizable affinity to his own sex. This man seduces other men as well. Not necessarily sexually. But there is a certain electricity in his every word, every interaction that other men can sense as well. No wonder then, that a lot of men hate him. It’s resentment, it’s fear and a secret awe. Not that it stops the Male Slut from getting what he wants. The reason men hate him is that he gets what he wants inspite of them and that they let him have it, inspite of themselves.

Now there’s a fair bit of the Chameleon Boy (as Shreyasi, far politer than I, calls him) in the Male Slut. Why settle for one plate when the entire smorgasbord is yours? Then again, the Male Sluts I know are surprising people. They’re deeply committed to the stability of their life. They seem to have the Bad Boy‘s taste for spice but are sensible enough to keep their life antacid-like.

So surprisingly enough, you might find a discreet girlfriend or wife tucked away somewhere, a contrastingly ‘normal’ family life somewhere. Now the thing is, before aspiring to be a part of that life, bear in mind that the woman who lands this exotic bird is usually unaware of his colourful feathers and wings. Or appears to be so. And the Male Slut tries his best to keep things that way. I don’t know why that is the case, but it is so. I suppose a Male Slut is just a grown-up Bad Boy who’s shrewd enough not to burn ALL his bridges. But slutty nevertheless, partnered or not, the Male Slut is permanently married to attention. And he makes a devoted husband.

It reminds me, quite funnily, of the movie Irma la Douce. Who was the real slut in that story?