Alcohol, arguments and men

Actually, having slept over my last post, I look at myself this morning with fresh perspective (and two hours of yoga). I realize that I’m essentially a logical, rational person. But I’m susceptible to certain rationale-altering vices. Namely, alcohol, arguments and men.

If I ever own a restaurant (which I highly doubt, I’m a terrible cook and hostess), I’ll probably call it ‘Alcohol and Arguments‘. Does that sound too much like the tagline of my favorite coffee shop? Well, mine will be stocked with plenty of books, newspapers and perhaps a terminal or two to access the blogsphere….all conducive to the second of my vices. Obviously there’d have to be both men and women coming in, else the idea wouldn’t work. It’s not too funny a thought, is it? The last man I voiced this to, found it extremely amusing.

To come back, it isn’t really all that odd, you know. Alcohol is a chemical that alters brain processes. Arguments stimulate the production of adrenalin, another chemical that can addle your brain. And men…ah men, men, men….at least the kind of men I’m usually drawn to and am always writing about….cause the production of several hormones (umm, adrenalin among others) that definitely have an effect on my generally smooth-functioning rational processes. All three in conjunction and we have a merry cocktail of mad chemicals. No wonder then, my relationships began with loads of fun (ah, bring on the wine!!!) and intellectual stimulation (oh well….arguments…) and end disastrously (umm, isn’t that always the case where men are concerned?). The combination is just too much for me to digest.

And hence I resolve to steer clear of my three vices, in the interest of upholding the dignity and intelligence quotient of my sisterhood. Alcohol is rather easy to abstain from….I’ve been on the wagon, reasonably so all this year (we’ll forget about the odd glass of wine or two). Arguments, not as easy, prone as I am to playing warrior-princess. But I’ve started my yoga again and am picking up my old threads of spirituality. Hence peace may reign as I quiet the cacaphony in my life. Men though……hmm, I just seem to have an affinity for trouble and men (troublesome men), don’t I?

At least I’ll try to avoid all three together. There ought to be a law. Alcohol has its statutories. Arguments are at least socially controlled. Men however, running loose all over the place, ought to come with a label, especially the intelligent ones…

Danger! The intelligence levels in this unit are above permissible levels of human female consumption and can be hazardous to mental well-being.

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About Ramya Pandyan

IdeaSmith is the digital doppelgänger of Ramya Pandyan. I am a writer-storyteller. I work as a Content Specialist, consulting, training and delivering Social Content that drives conversations & builds communities. Tweet me at @ideasmithy or write to me at Ideasmithy[at]gmail[dot]com.

Posted on March 12, 2007, in Battle of the sexes, On a lighter note.., The Dating Game and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. “Men however, running loose all over the place, ought to come with a label, especially the intelligent ones”

    Hilarious!

    And would have to disagree with the last man you voiced restaurant idea to, me thinks it sounds brilliant!

  2. @ Melody: Oh well, men are either petrified or amused by the things I say..its the story of my life. But maybe we’ll do better once we have those labels in place, won’t we?

  3. Do you realize that the moment something is prohibited as in it comes with a warning , you tend to simply gravitate towards it all the more? Love the label.

  4. @ ratz: Ha! Do I know that or do I know that…see my latest post. ;-)

  5. Interested in some alcohol and a mindless chat (We should try to veer away from intelligent banter, as difficult as that might be)?

    Am gonna be in town somewhere mid-June! We shall hope not to run into an anti-social phase.

  1. Pingback: History and chemistry « XX Factor

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