XX Factor secrets
Saxy darrrleeeng has tagged me first thing Monday morning to spill my deep, dark secrets. Now this follows a discussion with a certain ‘friend’ who thinks I’m too open and should learn to mask my emotions. My reply was that people who read my blog knew me anyway so what was the point?
Anyway, perhaps you don’t know me ALL that well. I’m taking this tag up on XXFactor because this post is going to be about my secrets relating to that area of my life I write most about on this blog….MEN!
Five secrets about men in my life:
1. The best friend of my boyfriend was in love with me. My boyfriend would send him over to talk to me for love advice and sometimes to keep me company when he was late. The best friend in question was also a highly intelligent, exceptionally perceptive man and it was a privelege to be his friend even. When he told me that he was in love with me, I said, “I know.” He didn’t ever tell my boyfriend and I didn’t either. But often I think he cared for me much more than my boyfriend did.
2. While I’ve always believed and preached that one should keep one’s personal and professional life apart, one of my boyfriends was indeed a colleague. It wasn’t a bad experience and it certainly wasn’t the reason for my belief. I don’t miss him and I wouldn’t do it again but I’m glad he happened to me anyway.
3. I was deeply attracted to a classmate. Then my best friend saw him and fell head over heels for him. I played Cupid and they were in a relationship for three years after that. I never told her that. Not even the fact that I’d caught him checking me out, when he thought I wasn’t looking, several times, after they started dating.
4. Someone proposed to me 3 years after we broke up and one month before he got engaged to his then-girlfriend. The only reason I didn’t even consider it is because I wouldn’t recycle a boyfriend. I’ve often wondered what life would have been like, if I had.
5. I think I’m deeply loyal to my friends, even more than to the men I date. But I had a brief fling with someone who was a very close friend. When it didn’t go beyond what I wanted, I cut off from him completely, even when he came back to ask me to reconsider. I just didn’t need him anymore.
Incidently, I’m not ashamed of any of these secrets. The reason they are secrets is because the people and emotions involved were all special in ways that can’t be explained in the framework of traditional relationships.