Female bonding vs male bonding
Yesterday I was thinking about snobbery. I sometimes tell people, “Some women are snobbish about looks, some about money…Me? I’m an intelligence-snob.” What that translates into, my dear men, (the women never need to have things explained in simplistic terms!) is what traits we consider the ‘differentiating factor’ between us and them
You see it everywhere….that which we consider important is what we look for in other people, gravitate to those who have it and shun those who don’t. Hence the looks-obsessors preen together and turn up their noses at those who don’t worship beauty. The material girls fly to the monied like iron filings to magnets. The achiever types will only hang out with others with degrees and awards and trophies. And those like myself seek out other chronic thinkers and generally view the remaining as part of the scenery.
Men are different however. I’ve tried and tried to think of what it is that draws men together and I haven’t been able to see any discernable patterns. Slobs, dandies, studs, nerds, bad boys, good boys, jocks….all of them hang around in an almost unnatural (to me!) bonhomie. Their interests, their occupations, their personalities may span the entire human spectrum but they all look comfortable being together. Because when it comes down to it, there seems to be only thing that they even consider bonding on. Hence my conclusion: Men are only ever snobbish about sex-related issues.
Ever notice how a group of guys sitting around and chatting will invariably be in agreement when it comes to bitching about ex-girlfriends, gossiping about the new ones around, discussing the latest ‘techniques’ (and god alone knows what other rubbish) and exchanging new ideas to torment the opposite sex (Long live Bill Waterson for the creation of G.R.O.S.S….I don’t think men ever grow out of that!!!)
This morning I read about what Sagnik calls The Sex and the City syndrome (and I’m willing to bet half the population just sat up at the sight of the ‘s’ word!!). I enjoy doing the sort of id quizzes that he describes. I have also been accused (especially by men) of ‘thinking too much’. It occurs to me that women like to identify with others, with each other, to bond and to group. We like looking for things in common, people who are ‘like’ us. Men on the other hand, driven perhaps by the primitive lone hunter instinct, prefer to stake out their turf and not have any competition from someone with similar intents or interests. There is probably a basic human need to bond (there I’ve said it…they belong to the human race too!!) hence they bond but only on a very basic level. None of the messing around with shared wavelength for the XY-factor.
Is that perhaps a more rational viewpoint? Or am I going to be accused to thinking too much again by the testosterone brigade?